Or He's One Of Those Antebellum Southern Reptiles

Three-year-old girl, pointing to a page in Eric Carle's The Mixed-Up Chameleon: Why does he have an umbrella?
Dad: Some people have to wear umbrellas all the time, otherwise they'll get lots of freckles or end up with squamous cell carcinoma and die.

–B Train

Overheard by: sometimesdee