Man: You wore red panties to your brother’s funeral?
Woman: Yeah, I wore green shoes too…You wanna say something about it?
Man: Oh…very…Christmasy.
Woman: I thought you were Jewish?
Man: Well, I am. But I’ve heard of Christmas before!
–Canal & Mulberry
Man #1: You can tell she loves her son.
Man #2: Who?
Man #1: Mary.
Man #2: Mary who?
Man #1: There.
Man #2: …George, that’s a painting of Mary and Jesus. Of course she loves her son.
–The Met
Hobo: Jesus is our savior! Worship him, he’s done good things for us! He is the son of God!
Man: Sorry, what was that name again?
Hobo: Jesus! Jesus our savior!
Man: Oh, Jesus Christ?
Hobo: Yes, Jesus Christ.
Man: Oh, okay.
–A train
Guy: Somebody stole the baby Jesus! I’m appalled!
Hobo: Jesus isn’t born until Christmas.
–Houston & Sullivan
Girl: You’ve been going out with him for two months and only now did you realize he has one testicle.
–Spring & West Broadway
