Wednesday One‐liners Teach Your Children Well

Pregnant woman to 3‑year‐old son: Do you remember what happened last time you licked the subway? That’s right. You threw up.

–4 train

Overheard by: Leora

Parent: My son is only two years old, sittin’ at the bar, talkin’ ’bout “old school.” How you gon’ talk ’bout “old school” when you two years old? I think my brother taught him that.

–Merrill Lynch lobby, Broadway & Park Row

Mom to 4‑year‐old: Stop crying and take a moment and think about how you feel.

–Broadway & 104th