Small girl’s voice from inside tube: Repeat, I have the prisoner, over.
–McDonald’s playland, 69th & Metro, Queens
Little girl: Mommy, there are no good stones in this city anymore.
–79th & 5th
Little girl, proudly: Mommy, I found this on the floor of the supermarket, so I put it in my mouth.
–Waldbaum’s Supermarket, Sheepshead Bay
Little girl swinging around a receipt: I don’t have to pay taxes! Taaax-esss.
–66th & Broadway
Overheard by: Wishing I didnt have to either
College kid #1: You know why I like the Village?
College kid #2: Why?
College kid #1: It’s not Times Square.
College kid #2: Oh, I love the Village because you can eat at a classy pizza establishment and then go next door and buy a dildo.
–13th & 6th
Senior surgeon: Did you do anything fun this weekend?
Junior surgeon: I took the family to Chinatown.
Senior surgeon: Oh, great! Did you eat while you were there?
Junior surgeon: Yeah, we went to McDonald’s.
Senior surgeon: You are no longer in charge of your weekends.
–68th & 1st
Sitting tourist #1: They should have more chairs in these exhibits.
Sitting tourist #2: No, they should give everyone a massage at the end.
–Americans in Paris exhibit, the Met
