Dude: I'm thinking about going to the Philharmonic concert tonight in Central Park.
Chick: Hmm, interesting. I just don't know that I could sit through a harmonica concert.
Dude: No, no, it's the *Phil* harmonic concert.
Chick: Oh! (pause) Who is that?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: andrew
Crazy hobo: Taco Bell is outta meat. Taco Bell… Is outta meat. I ask for a taco, they say, "We outta meat." What the fuck!? How you run outta meat at Taco Bell? You don't see me runnin' outta weed! Shit. Taco Bell is outta meat.
–Wendy's, 14th Street
Overheard by: Zack
Curious teenage girl: What is that on the floor? Ew! I hate when people leave bags of meat on the subway!
–R Train
Jewish lawyer, answering his desk phone: Weinstein's house of kosher pork. How may I direct your call?
–Newsroom, Midtown
Preppy teen: I am like, a total whore for salami.
–280th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: casayoto
Woman on cell talking about her upcoming weekend: Mah husband's gone, my kids is gone, I'm jus' goin' lie on the floor and eat some baloney. Mmm hmm. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Das' right. I'm gonna eat some baloney, and some cheese?-I'm goin' make myself a baloney sandwich.
–4th St Station
Overheard by: Jess
Suit on cell: So what does he think, he’s going to, like, eat scrambled eggs with these people and then they’ll sit down and talk about it?
–Shore Road, Brooklyn
Yankee fan: So, we was talkin’ to him and we was all like: "Let’s go to a bar!" And he was all like: "I like poetry" so the guys pretty much ditched him, so I was left with ‘im, and had to talk about his feelings and shit. It sucked.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: I like poetry.
Religious flier nut to friend: We can’t talk about that out here because then they’ll know what we’re about.
–Delancey and Ludlow
Overheard by: Adrienne
Student (shouting): Okay, everyone: I’m doing this whole "day of silence" business so none of you better talk to me! I’m not supposed to say anything and I will be so pissed if anyone of you trick me into talking!
–Millennium High School
Overheard by: I’m staying silent…
Hysterical teenage girl on bus: Well, maybe you should have talked about it before you conceived me!
–M34 Bus
Overheard by: nina
Curly-haired chick on cell: I’m glad I can talk to you about my pubes with such ease.
–Harlem
Overheard by: Nipples McFreaky
Guy #1: Yo, there was a party and her sister was in the shower. I went in there and fucked the shit out of her.
Guy #2: That’s all I’ve been doin’ lately. Fucking.
–Downtown 2 Train
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Drunk #1: I’m so fucking wasted!
Drunk #2 (to laughing group passing by): What the fuck are you laughing at? You repressed, reactionary douchebags!
Drunk #1: You repressed fucks!
Drunk #2: Go to Busch Gardens!
–7th & Ave A
Guy: Let’s go watch Legally Blonde and do heroin.
Friend: Yeah!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Rosanna
Hungover sandwich maker lady: Man, I just wanna go home.
Girl, who clearly doesn’t want to make conversation: Mmmm.
Hungover sandwich maker lady: Man, I came in here drunk this morning!
Girl: Oh, uh, I’m sorry.
Hung-over sandwich maker lady: Why you sorry? I had the time of my life last night!
–Subway, 8th & University
Drunk girl #1: We’re going to the Taj Lounge!
Drunk girl #2: Yeah we’re going to the Taj Lounge! [To random guy.] Get your hot ass to the Taj Lounge!
Drunk girl #1: Leave your face here!
–21st St
Guy to self: Doctor Jean Grey has the most powerful orgasm of all the X-Men.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: Stan
Engineering school chick, screaming: And I was like, ‘Oh my god, this is the worst protractor ever!’
–Columbia University
Skanky hipster chick to another: I would totally do him… But only if I had the ninja outfit on.
–Ludlow St.
[Four NYPD cops are checking people’s bags at rush hour. A man in a suit appears to be their superior.]Man in suit: But then he realizes that Jedis don’t seek revenge. [The four cops all nod gravely.]
–W 4th St Subway Station
Overheard by: KL
Fiftyish suit: Chewbacca, the original wingman…
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: Ike
Woman on cell: I’m busy. I’ve got things to do. And right now what I’m doing is looking at comic books.
–Forbidden Planet
Overheard by: Josh
Chick: We were always competing to be chief geek… But he had asperger’s, so he won.
–Central Park
Girl #1: We could drive out to New Jersey this weekend.
Guy: I’ll chip in for gas.
Girl #2: I’ll chip in for drugs.
–Pratt Institute
