Preppy girl #1, in orgasmic voice: Candy-covered chocolate uggs!
Preppy girl #2: Shut up, Tiffany!
–M79 Bus
Overheard by: Fresca P.
Preppy girl #1, in orgasmic voice: Candy-covered chocolate uggs!
Preppy girl #2: Shut up, Tiffany!
–M79 Bus
Overheard by: Fresca P.
Hipster guy: Suck my balls.
Preppy girl: But…you have scabies.
–Grand Central
Hipster guy to hipster chick: …and he's like, "I didn't come; why is there so much come all over?" And she's like, "Oh, you're number 23." So he's like, "Oh, okay." And he starts pounding away again!
–Bedford & 11th, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Woman, with her mouth about an inch from a guy, about to kiss him: I can't, I already had sex with three guys today.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Derek
Girl to friend: I'm really worried about her. I think she has a serious case of slutism.
–66th & Columbus
Preppy girl on cell: Yeah, so apparently "Happy hour Tuesday" equals "Walk of shame Wednesday." I just wish I could've been working at my job for more than a week before I walked in reeking of shame and spermicide. (pause) Actually, I wish the spermicide thing was true. Then I wouldn't have to drop $50 bucks today on plan B.
–Wall St
Teenage boy on cell: She's still sleeping with my brother. I mean, my brother is sleeping with like ten other girls…but she's in his regular rotation.
–Starbucks, Montague Street
NYU student on cell: But logic doesn't call you back. Logic sleeps with you and leaves in the morning.
–Kimmel Center
Rockabilly girl: I’m a little evil.
Preppy girl: Well, think about our friends — you’d almost have to be. I definitely am.
Rockabilly girl: Jenny, our friends are horrible people.
Preppy girl: True.
–Essex & Rivington
White teen: I don’t think I could date an ugly girl.
Preppy black teen: Yeah…
White teen: I think I’ll just marry a hot one for the sex and cheat on her emotionally with someone who is actually smart.
–Grand Central
Thuggish black guy #1: That was mad niggerish.
Preppy black guy: Yeah, it was so fiscally irresponsible.
Thuggish black guy #2: Yeah, so niggerish.
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: puzzled
Hobo: Hey man, can I have a buck?
Abercrombie: No, I’m sorry, I only have $2 on me.
Hobo: Come on man.
Abercrombie: I’m really sorry pal…I need it.
Hobo: Come on! You’re pretty and pretty people are never broke.
Abercrombie: Yes we are! We just look better in it, now leave me alone!
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: Matthew Mundo
Prep #1: Let’s go play GameCube and listen to Jack Johnson and share our emotions.
Prep #2: Yeah!
–S train
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Girl: I want a Marc Jacobs bag, and I don’t care if it’s made of baby cow!
–Outside the Met
Overheard by: wants baby cow bag, too
Guy, explaining his pants: Yeah, they look gay, but they make my junk look huge.
–Midtown
Man picking up trash to woman picking up trash: How you gonna make ten dollars an hour and have people making minimum wage looking better than you?
–Madison Sq Park
Shopaholic: I know! One time I thought there was more to life than that. But then I went back to Bloomingdale’s.
–59th & Madison
Overheard by: DM Cook
Teenage girl on phone: So where are you?…So,what happened?…Not to your shoe! In the hospital!
–Central Park
Overheard by: concerned trespasser
Cougar-in-Training, looking at non-trendy partygoers: Clearly they don’t belong here.
–Rooftop party, the SoHo House
Preppy teenage boy on cell: I use the word "ex" as a coping mechanism. She can have her name back once I'm healed.
–Grand Central
Transvestite on cell: I'm changing my name from Angela to Rachel. Angela sounds very Disney. I don't feel like Disney. I feel like a hard sound, like Rachel.
–Pelham Bay Park
Black guy: Shit be fucked up. Niggas got bitches' names. Bitches got niggas' names.
–26th & 8th
Overheard by: Withnail
Yuppie to another: You know, man, I think you say my name more than your wife's.
–62nd & 2nd
Overheard by: The Vonz
Upper East Side girl, seriously: You know what the first thing I look for in a gentleman caller is? His name.
–89th St & 3rd Ave
