Preppy guy: What's that stuff around the rim of your martini glass?
Trendy girl: Uh…I dunno, it looks like cum.
Preppy guy: Uh… can I get a lick?
–Restaurant, St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Eliza
Preppy guy: What's that stuff around the rim of your martini glass?
Trendy girl: Uh…I dunno, it looks like cum.
Preppy guy: Uh… can I get a lick?
–Restaurant, St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Eliza
Lady looking at another woman's Roman sandals: I don't like those Jesus-lookin' sandals!
–The Village
Girl: Do flats make your butt look big?
–9th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Matt Morgan
Guy with faux-hawk: You know in Pee-wee's Big Adventure, after he loses his bike and everyone around him is riding bicycles? I feel that way with high-tops right now.
–14th & 1st
Overheard by: Heather
(trendy, skinny, Upper West Side woman on sidewalk is staring down at her feet and looking concerned)
Preppy 30-something boyfriend: I think your toes look better in those sandals.
–86th & Broadway
Overheard by: Sushene
Girl: My uncle is gay, like, flying-out-of-his-loafers gay.
–W 67th & Broadway
Overheard by: magical-newyork.blogspot.com
Female cop to two male cops: So he's standing there, really well dressed, nice shoes, and all of a sudden he pulls out this big, big (voice drops) boner, and says "Give me the shoes!"
–Continental Ave Station, Forest Hills
Prep school boy #1: I’m reading The Invisible Man, but I’m really disappointed.
Prep school boy #2: Really?
Prep school boy #1: Yeah, I mean, he’s not really invisible, you know?
Prep school boy #2: He’s not?
Prep school boy #1: No, he’s just black.
–96 Crosstown bus
Girl: I’m done with threesomes. Someone always gets hurt. It’s four-gies only from now on.
–Duane Reade, 32nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Jaina Wald
Man on cell: You got the what? The what? So you got the queen-sized bed!! You whore! You whore!
–Wall & Water
Overheard by: Aubrie
Man: Hey, anyone want to go to an orgy?
–Central Park
Loud teen boy: Dad, do we need condoms?
–Pharmacy, 82nd & Columbus
Girl on cell: Well it’s not even like anyone there had any real porn background!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Natalie
Guy on stoop: Dude! I did not give that girl VD.
–22nd & Broadway
Loud female suit: Well, at least he wasn’t sleeping with an intern!
–45th & Lex
Preppy girl on cell: Hey, girly, I got myself two tickets for us to go to the Dominican Republic for next week, and you know what that means: 7 days of Dominican cock. Yum!
–34th St
Overheard by: naidababy
Preppy girl: So, like, Salman Rushdie had to move to America because that guy issued this fatwa thing against him.
Hipster guy: You mean the Ayatollah?
Preppy girl: I think it’s pronounced “aya-toy-a.”
Hipster guy: Ummm…Yeah, if he were Spanish!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: not an Ivy-Leaguer
Preppy guy #1: Oh, man, I can’t believe you. You’re just such a… a gay cowboy.
Preppy guy #2: Haha, Brian’s* not a cowboy.
Brian*: Oh, thanks, dude. Thanks.
–Macy’s
Overheard by: greg
Preppy girl to honking SUV driver: Fuck you!
Asian guy, walking other way: Bless you!
–59th & Park
Overheard by: Just trying to cross the street
Preppy guy #1: I hate geese shit on fields.
Preppy guy #2: It’s not so bad. It’s a good lubricant for when you slide-tackle people. You know, you just keep sliding…
Preppy guy #3: Dude, I can’t remember the last time I jerked off using geese shit. It can’t be that good a lubricant!
–Central Park
Guy #1: I think I’d come in third.
Guy #2: Why third? Why not first or second?
Guy #1: I don’t know, I probably don’t have the biggest, but it isn’t the smallest either, so I figured third.
Guy #3: Wait, then whose dick do you think is the smallest?
Guy #1: I don’t fucking know! I just don’t think I have the smallest, so I’m sure I beat one of you motherfuckers.
Guy #4: Dude, sounds like you got a small dick.
–24th & Lexington
Overheard by: paul10003
Creepster: Hey there… do you like drugs? … How about Gandhi?
–Chambers &and West Broadway
Girl on cell: So I opened the envelope on the train… Yeah it was heroin.
–W 46th Ave
Bum: Excuse me! Hey, hey! Excuse me! Check it out! I am going to smoke crack all fucking night, and there isn’t anything anyone can do about it, because that’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to smoke so much crack!
–West 4th at Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Cory
Guy to hungover girl: Everyday you look more and more like you do heroin.
–Relish Bar & Grill
Preppy dude: I like doing drugs too much to be a Buddhist.
–Arlene’s Grocery
Mom to ten-year-old son: … But that’s like saying heroin is the only drug to try!
–14th St & 9th Ave
