No Wonder King Cole Isn't a Merry Old Soul Anymore

Preppy college girl to friend: She was the girl who would go down on him while lighting his bowl. She was the perfect girl for him. It's too bad she went crazy, they would have been so happy together!

Overheard by: burrhead.

Preppy guy #1: “Pangaea,” like the continent?
Preppy guy #2: Yeah, my sister just had a face lift.

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Rev Loon

Preppy chick: I didn't see you in class today. Where were you?
Guy: I was having sex in the bathroom.
Preppy chick: Oh, I want to try that.


Really preppy girl to preppy friends: Like, Jesus had problems too!

Ithaca, New York

Overheard by: Ananda

Guy: Do you spit or swallow?
Preppy girl: I don’t know. I just chew.


Homeless woman to preppy kid in pink shirt: Don’t mix your reds and your whites!

Boulder, Colorado

Preppy girl: I love not wearing pants.
[Friends start to laugh.]Preppy girl: No! I mean have you ever gone to the beach and –you just take off your bottoms and –no! I mean you like take off your swimsuit bottoms–.
[Friends erupt in laughter.]Preppy girl: I just mean –I just like not wearing pants…

High School
San Diego, California

Preppy brunette on cell: So did you hear? Hillary won the primaries yesterday! [Pause.] Wait, you mean there’s more than one?

JMU Bookstore
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Overheard by: baffled

Preppie guy: … And I said, “That’s why I trade corn futures!” [Entire table erupts in raucous laughter.]

Ethiopian restaurant, 12th & U
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Ladle

Preppy girl on cell: the longest amount of time I’ve had pubic hair is three days.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: kt