A Wednesday in Need Is a One-Liner Indeed

Angry man on cell: I need a friend in my life! Do you hear me?! …I don't care! I'm not leaving my wife for anyone!

–Roosevelt Ave, Flushing

Overheard by: oh, you thought my ipod was on

Girl to friend: Tomorrow I'm finally unpacking and I'm buying a new sundress to wear on Sunday when I go out to brunch with my new love interest. But he doesn't know that's the direction our friendship is headed.

–Starbucks

Overheard by: A. Pincus

Older woman with teased black hair on cell: But Frank, I don't want you to write a song about me. I want things to be as they were, friends when we were normal. Don't write me a song.

–Staten Island Ferry

Girl to friend: Well, I'm friends with him too and I didn't sleep with him.

–Shake Shack, Union Square

Girl to friend: I'm willing to let you sleep with my best friend and you still want more?

–W 31 & 6th

Overheard by: misery

Angry woman on cell: And then he told this complete stranger, "My ex-wife had lesbian lovers! My ex-wife slept with young boys!" We've been divorced for six years and he's still talking shit about me, but he says he wants to be friends?!

–2nd St & Ave A

Overheard by: voidoid