Girl #1: What’s with the people yelling?
Girl #2: It’s a protest about something.
Girl #1: What are they protesting?
Girl #2: I don’t know, the Bubonic Plague?
–Washington Square SE
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
Archive for the ‘Bimbettes’ Category
Eat Some Wednesday One-liners
Nylon sweat suit guy: I need a nice homecooked meal. I think I’m gonna go to Tad’s.
–50th & 6th
Blonde: I don’t diet. I just eat moderately.
–Maggie’s, 47th & Madison
I Am Now
Slutty girlfriend: You’re too thick for me to properly give you head, though.
Moron boyfriend: You callin’ me stupid?
–Fordham University
There’s a Difference Between Abs and Rolls
Girl #1: Don’t you like anything about yourself?
Girl #2: I like my abs.
Girl #1: Really?
Girl #2: I guess not.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Alexis Gratt
No, That’s Alcoholautism
Arty girl: You know what Asperger’s is, right?
Arty guy: No.
Arty girl: It’s that type of Autism where people are obsessed with trains.
Arty guy: Oh! So is that what all the subway conductors have?
–F train
I Guess She’s Got a Big Cock, Then
Tipsy chick #1: Like, I kept drinking, but it really didn’t taste like there was any alcohol in it. So I just kept drinking.
Tipsy chick #2: You are a fratboy’s dream.
–Macdougal between 3rd & Bleecker
Overheard by: djlindee
That Way, Meryl Will Be a Lock after Oprah’s Two Terms
Girl #1: The Devil Wears Prada is like, the best movie ever made.
Girl #2: Oh, totally. Meryl Streep’s character was fabulous in that!
Girl #1: Dude, Meryl Streep should run for President. No, wait. Oprah should run for President, and Meryl Streep should be Vice President.
–86th & Lex
This Picture Book Will Explain
Bimbette, pointing to menu: How do you pronounce this?
Waitress: It’s called the “Paul Bunyan”.
Bimbette: Is that French?
–High Life Cafe, Upper West Side
Overheard by: EthanK
Wednesday One-Liners Reach Maximum Occupancy
Professor: All the buildings in Florence are five stories high, because they were built before elevators, and that’s how many stories you can walk up with groceries before you die.
–Fordham University
20-something tourist girl to family, about subway: It’s like an elevator, but opposite.
–N Train
Bimbette: I, like, ran into them in the elevator and they, like, literally gang-banged me.
–Astoria
20-something woman: Do you think he ever found out I didn’t fall down an elevator shaft?
–F Train
Next Time, Keep Listening ’til You Get a Number
Guy: Well, what do you really want out of life?
Girl: Umm.
Guy: Besides hardcore sadomasochistic sex.
Girl: People are totally listening to this conversation.
Guy: No, they’re really not.
–Benny’s Burritos, Ave A
Overheard by: Djlindee
