Bimbettes

Goth v. Preppy: The Archie Paradigm

Girl #1: So, like, I’m deciding between these two guys. One’s really hot, and like, Goth and stuff–he listens to Cradle of Filth–and the other’s all preppy and sweet.
Girl #2: Uh huh. That’s so Tess of the d’Urbervilles.
Girl #1: Uh huh. And so, I’m all conflicted. The preppy one’s so sweet! He’s trying to get me not to do drugs. He’s all, “Don’t do heroin!”
Girl #2: That’s sweet, I guess. Wait: do you do drugs?
Girl #1: Well, no. I might have done pot once, but I was so wasted I couldn’t tell.

–The Strand

Freedom Fries with Mussolini

Girl #1: So when I was in Italy, I went to France.
Girl #2: What did you do there?
Girl #1: I went to the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Girl #2: Still Italy.
Girl #1: Really?
Girl #2: Yeah. So what did you do in France?
Girl #1: I guess I didn’t go to France, then…

–Toys R Us, Times Square

Overheard by: Jesse Patrick

Don’t Think About Splinters…Don’t Think About Splinters

Girl: Yeah, I’m so hot, I have to beat guys off with sticks.
Guy: You beat guys off with sticks?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Chris Ghirardi

I Think I’m Going to Be Sick

Girl #1: She looks so good now, though!
Girl #2: Yeah, well, if she would keep a meal down once in a while she might not…

–9th Avenue & Little West 12th Street

Overheard by: Wyatt Neumann

Girl #1: They were all wondering why I wasn’t eating, and they kept asking me to eat something, so I just finally had a sandwich to shut them up. So when I went back to the hotel, I threw up.
Girl #2: I totally understand, I would have done the same thing.

–NYSC locker room, 23rd & Park

The Burning Sensation She Already Had in Stock

Girl #1: Ugh! He gave me the biggest hickey on one of my tits! Gross!
Girl #2: Well, at least it was a hickey and not a burning sensation when you pee!

–Union Square

Guys: Get Her to Say Seamen and Read Her This Entry

Asian chick: You know, I bet Fritos are healthy for you!
Spanish chick: How you figure?
Asian chick: Cuz in the ingredients it says it’s made of corn, soybean oil and salt, and corn is good for you.
Spanish chick: True. If you can pronounce what’s in the ingredients, then it has to be good for you.

–Flushing

She’s Going to Pound Down Some Buds

Girl #1: I can’t wait for the summertime so I can hang out outside in biergartens.
Girl #2: Yeah, I’m going to go to the botanical garden.

–Coffee Shop, Union Square

Seems Like Mom’s Eggs Weren’t Quite Grade “A”

Girl: Can I have an egg omelette?
Chef: Um…yes, do you want anything in that?
Girl: Doesn’t it come with stuff in it?
Chef: Yes, what do you want in your omelette?
Girl: Eggs.
Chef: That it?
Girl: Actually, what kind of omelettes besides egg do you have?

–Penn Station

Looks Like Backdoor is Out of the Question

New wave girl #1: Are you seriously gonna go back to his place with him?
New wave girl #2: No, not seriously.

–7th & A

Overheard by: saphin

No Matter How Worthless You Are, There’s This Girl

Girl #1: I wouldn’t get married in New York, no way.
Girl #2. Me neither.
Girl #1: Out of town somewhere, New Haven, Scarsdale: way better. It’d be ridiculous here. Can you imagine?
Girl #3: Yup, right.
Girl #1: Only if I married for money. If he has money, then it’s a different story. Let’s say, 250k a year. Stockbroker, mortgage investment banker, lawyer surgeon, you know. At least 250 grand, or it might as well be in Boston. And I have to have an au pair, later.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Christopher Lee

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