Chick: Hey, did the space shuttle land yet?
Man: No, it’s still circling in space endlessly.
Chick: Really, so are they stuck up there?
Man: I’m kidding. It landed last week.
Chick: So did it land in California or at JFK?
Man: JFK? What the hell are you talking about? You mean the Kennedy Space Center, not JFK! I can’t believe you’re going to be a doctor.
–George Washington Bridge Bus Station
Girl #1: So, have you heard about Reading Lolita in Tehran?
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: It’s, like, the new Kite Runner. It’s about these Afghani women…
–6 train
Stripper chick: I don’t know, there was a detective that used to hang out with us in the club, maybe I could call him. He used to drive me home and shit.
Queer: Um, is he trustworthy?
Stripper chick: Well, actually he’s pretty shady, but whatever.
Queer: Actually, that’s probably better.
Stripper chick: You know, it probably is!
–A train
Chick: What is the difference between the red top and the green top on the soy sauce?
Man: …The red one is spicy.
–Ruby Foo’s, 49th & Broadway
Girl #1: Yum. It tastes like rum!
Guy: It might be rum.
Girl #1: No. It doesn’t look like rum.
Guy: I know. I mean there might be rum in it.
Girl #1: Oh. But it doesn’t taste like alcohol. It just tastes like peanuts.
Girl #2: Huh? Like peanuts?
Girl #1: Yeah. Like coconuts.
–Coney Island
Girl #1: Do you know what movie is playing tonight?
Man: Phantom of the Opera.
Girl #1: Oh!
Man: It’s the 1926 silent version.
Girl #2: How do you make a silent movie from a musical?
–Propect Park Bandshell
Guy: Why do you always have to be a ho?
Girl: I’m good at it.
Guy: Why can’t you do other things you’re good at? Head, yes. Ho, no.
–Lit Lounge, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: kepler
Girl #1: …uh, strapless?
Girl #2: Yeah? Which one?
Girl #1: You know you just asked me what strap on I bought, right?
Girl #2: Oh, shit. I’m not very smart am I?
–Victoria’s Secret, Prince Street
Overheard by: Natalie
Girl #1: So, like, I’m deciding between these two guys. One’s really hot, and like, Goth and stuff–he listens to Cradle of Filth–and the other’s all preppy and sweet.
Girl #2: Uh huh. That’s so Tess of the d’Urbervilles.
Girl #1: Uh huh. And so, I’m all conflicted. The preppy one’s so sweet! He’s trying to get me not to do drugs. He’s all, “Don’t do heroin!”
Girl #2: That’s sweet, I guess. Wait: do you do drugs?
Girl #1: Well, no. I might have done pot once, but I was so wasted I couldn’t tell.
–The Strand
Girl #1: So when I was in Italy, I went to France.
Girl #2: What did you do there?
Girl #1: I went to the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Girl #2: Still Italy.
Girl #1: Really?
Girl #2: Yeah. So what did you do in France?
Girl #1: I guess I didn’t go to France, then…
–Toys R Us, Times Square
Overheard by: Jesse Patrick
