Girl: …but it’s not like you have to be really religious to be a nun anyway, right?
–Clara Barton High, Crown Heights
Girl: …but it’s not like you have to be really religious to be a nun anyway, right?
–Clara Barton High, Crown Heights
Chick: Excuse me, how much is it to use the computers?
Clerk: Two-fifty for 15 minutes.
Chick: So, how much is it for an hour?
Clerk: Ten dollars.
Chick: No, it’s not!
Clerk: … Yes, it is.
Chick: No way! It’s not! Stop lying!
Clerk: You know what? You can’t use the computers. Get out.
–Computer cafe, 7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Tech Monkey
Bimbo #1: I just want to move to another state, you know?
Bimbo #2: Yeah, like further south?
Bimbo #1: No, probably Australia.
Bimbo #2: Oh my God, me too! My cousin owns this train station, we could totally go!
Bimbo #1: Nah. I have a date tonight.
Headline by: johnny pissoff
Runners-Up:
· “All Aboard the Pangea Express” – Stitches
· “And Australia’s like, “WTF mate?”” – one L
· “Ashley crushes yet another of Jessica’s plans.” – Heidi
· “Besides, i dont speak german…” – senny
· “Crikey! Thank God the Stingrays Got Me Before They Arrived.” – Katie
· “Going Down, But Not Under” – sigh
· “It’s good to see Condy getting out more” – mp
· “Wait, You Have a Date? That Doesn’t Even Make Sense.” – 08kjl
Slutty girl: I think someone should have a tattoo over their asshole that says ‘Do Not Enter.’
Friend: I nominate you.
–Fulton & Water St
Overheard by: Anon
NYU ditz #1: So, this hobo on the train is selling Paris Hilton’s urine as perfume! It was all yellow in a jar and he was like, ‘Yeah, she took a piss and I’ve got it to sell – 20 bucks a pop.’
NYU ditz #2: No freaking way – what did it smell like?
NYU ditz #1: Like urine – I just can’t believe he collected her urine… [Baffled pause] You think it was really hers? I love Paris Hilton!
–Starbucks corner, Washington Square
Girl: God, it’s getting so cold! I should’ve brought my winter coat!
Guy: You don’t need a coat, you need a hot man to warm you up.
Girl: I need that, too…but I’d start with a coat.
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Mallory McMahon
Chick #1: She was from Mexico, or more specifically, Brazil.
Chick #2: Oh.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Laura M.
Teen girl #1: So, which did they build first, the subway or the city?
Teen girl #2: What?
Teen girl #1: Well, the subway looks real old, like it was built in the 1900s or something. Back then, there was no city.
Teen girl #2: Oh… Good question…
–R train
Overheard by: Alicia
Hair-twirling woman: I did actually put sex on the calendar, because it's only been four months. That's not long enough for us to stop having sex yet! And I put it on his iPhone, so it popped up a reminder in the middle of the day too, and was all, “don't forget, sex tonight!” He was like, “this is the worst idea ever.” And then we had dinner and the alarm went off and I was like, “we have to have sex now, the iPhone said so!” And we did… and afterwards he was like, “that was amazing, why don't we do that all the time?”
–W 4th St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Hipster chick with "valley girl" accent: Ya, like, ohmigod, ewwwwww… So I was reading Cosmo, and like, there was this story, about like, guys' confessions, you know? And like, this random guy actually said, like, "Sometimes, I rub my dick on my cat's fur, and it feels good."
–Washington Square Park
10-year-old girl to another: I bet his idea of a hot girl is the crazy cat lady across the street.
–34th St, Astoria
Overheard by: Samantha
Woman to another: I have a friend in Belgium now–we both have cats!
–One World Financial Center
Overheard by: macgeekgrl
Brunette on phone: Do you want to play with your cat or do you want to play with me?
–60th St b/w Park & Madison
Overheard by: Adam B.
20-something on cell: And when I woke up, I had no idea where I was. Then I realized I was spooning his cat.
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: J Cox
