Asian hipster/nerd: What’s the difference between sadist and misogynist? What’s the difference between sadist and misogynist? What’s the–
Asian nerd friend: You mean masochist.
Asian hipster/nerd: Oh. … What’s the difference between–
Asian nerd friend: I don’t know!!
–6 Train
Overheard by: AmandaRoyale
Nerd watching fireworks: I’m not really into the cerebral fireworks movement.
–The Great Lawn
Guy: It’s the sort of class where the value of Greek civilization is assessed by expressing its estimated GDP as a fractal.
–Columbia University bookstore
Overheard by: Tim Wolfe
Sweatpants: So, how’s your life doing?
Girl: Um, okay, I guess.
Sweatpants: That’s good… So I was watching Pokemon the other day…
–Mars Bar
Overheard by: Anna Wolinsky
Guy: I just geeked out my profile by a million percent. What do you think?
Girl: Hold up, let me check…
Guy: So what do you think?
Girl: Yeah, that Evangelion child shit is weird.
Guy: Like how weird?
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Overheard by: Zah
Hot girl: I mean, dudes are going to be staring at you anyway, but if your nipples are poking through your shirt then it’s just all over.
Nerdy Guy: Wow… Yeah!
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: rad dude
Geeky boy: So I downloaded this porn the other day and there was a glitch, so when the guy came he was like, ‘Yeah, oh, shit…’ Shit, it was hilarious.
Geeky girl: … Wait, is this a joke?
Geeky boy: Huh? No, it really happened.
Geeky girl, scooting away: God, you’re awkward.
–Bus
Overheard by: nina
Fanboy #1: Man, I hope we have time to get drinks at the bar. And a smoke, I could use a smoke.
Fanboy #2: This is crazy. A line for the men’s room — I can’t believe all the urinals are taken. Man, I gotta piss. Say, do you want to share one?
Fanboy #1, horrified: A urinal?!
Fanboy #2, quickly: No! A drink!
–New World Stages
Aging Dungeons & Dragons geek #1: Man, I have to poop.
Aging D&D geek #2: Hmm.
Aging D&D geek #1: This is seriously becoming a problem… especially on Monday nights when I have to poop.
Aging D&D geek #2: Yeah?
Aging D&D geek #1: Yeah. See, I get home from work and I eat until about 8:30 but then I have to watch 24 and I don’t have time to poop. I don’t even have time to poop during the commercials.
–B train
Overheard by: girl trying NOT to overhear
Child #1: … Make you join the dark side.
Field trip chaperone: And what exactly is the dark side, Christopher?
Child #1: It’s Darth Vader.
Child #2: No, it ain’t! The dark side is when you’re wearing basketball shorts and nothing underneath.
–Crowded 6 train
Overheard by: Tea
