Dorks, Geeks and Nerds

Fanboy #1: Man, I hope we have time to get drinks at the bar. And a smoke, I could use a smoke.
Fanboy #2: This is crazy. A line for the men’s room — I can’t believe all the urinals are taken. Man, I gotta piss. Say, do you want to share one?
Fanboy #1, horrified: A urinal?!
Fanboy #2, quickly: No! A drink!

–New World Stages

Aging Dungeons & Dragons geek #1: Man, I have to poop.
Aging D&D geek #2: Hmm.
Aging D&D geek #1: This is seriously becoming a problem… especially on Monday nights when I have to poop.
Aging D&D geek #2: Yeah?
Aging D&D geek #1: Yeah. See, I get home from work and I eat until about 8:30 but then I have to watch 24 and I don’t have time to poop. I don’t even have time to poop during the commercials.

–B train

Overheard by: girl trying NOT to overhear

Child #1: … Make you join the dark side.
Field trip chaperone: And what exactly is the dark side, Christopher?
Child #1: It’s Darth Vader.
Child #2: No, it ain’t! The dark side is when you’re wearing basketball shorts and nothing underneath.

–Crowded 6 train

Overheard by: Tea

College guy #1: I really regret not having sex with a friend’s mom in high school. Remember Mike’s* mom?
College guy #2: She was so hot. Dude, I beat her in Monopoly… which, in my book, is far better than sex.

–14th & 7th

A small boy on the bus is flicking a flashlight.

Boy: Laser!
Geeky guy across the aisle: I think that’s shaped more like a light saber.
Boy: Light saber!

–M104 bus

Overheard by: Andrew

Girl: I wish I had Thomas Pynchon-dar.
Friend: What?
Girl: You know, like radar or gaydar. Thomas Pynchon-dar.
Friend: Yeah, whatever.

–R train, Brooklyn

Nerd kid #1: Look! I’m demonstrating gravity!
Nerd kid #2: No, you’re not. That’s pseudo-force!

–3 train

Lawyer #1: The first date I ever went on with my wife I took her to a lecture about the physics of Star Trek.
Lawyer #2: Man, what a smooth operator you are.

–Civil Court, 141 Livingston St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Big Larry

Nerd #1: So, was she hot?
Nerd #2: According to Google Image search, yes.

–Math Building, NYU

Guy #1: You don’t know what you’re talking about.
Guy #2: What am I, an idiot?
Guy #1: You always don’t know what you’re talking about, and that’s your biggest problem.
Guy #2: What am I, an alien?

–Park Slope