Bag check guy: I want your bag.
Comic book chick: Pardon?
Bag check guy: You know the rules. Give me your bag.
Comic book chick: Sorry, I didn’t know I had to check this.
Bag check guy: What did you think, that I’m just some crazy black man sitting up here harassing people?
Comic book chick: Could be.
Bag check guy: That’s true.
–Forbidden Planet, 13th Street
Asian nerd #1: Neutrons!
Asian nerd #2: … Subatomic particles!
Asian nerd #3: Velocity times speed equals… Power! [all start cheering and high-fiving one another.]
–Park Ave & 23rd St
Overheard by: …not very science-y
Frat boys shouting: Voldemort! Voldemort!
Gryffindor girl to friend: If that fucking Slytherin reads the last page aloud to me, I swear I’m going to shove this fucking wand up his nose!
–Harry Potter Midnight Madness Party, Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Pat Miller
Undergrad: Ninjas, see. You can’t creep up on them. You can’t creep up on them because actually they’re creeping up on you. And the person you’re creeping up on is actually a mendicant.
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: pumpkin
Teen girl to friend: No one knows about Staten Island. It’s like the ninja island.
–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island
Overheard by: Green Star
Young lady suit on cell: Want to know what I learned today? Okay, you know how I really hate those rolling briefcases because they fucking ninja you while you’re walking? Well, today I learned that it’s really hard to be angry about a rolling briefcase when it’s being pulled by a genuine midget. It’s like watching a pony pull a cart. It’s adorable!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: she wasn’t too tall herself…
Geeky girl: They should really make a video game about a ninja doing the dishes. That shit would be dope.
–Flatiron District
Surly man: God, it’s just a book!
Man sprinting by, defiantly: No, it’s not!
–17th & Union Square West
Nerd #1, right before exam: You’re making me sweat! And not in a sexual way!
Nerd #2: Then I’m not interested.
–NYU
20-Something dude #1: Do you still use “lol” online?
20-Something dude #2: Nah, I use “omg” instead.
–10th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Guy: So in your fantasy life you’re a scholar? That’s ridiculous!
–Williamsburg party
Store guy: I love maps! I could look at maps all day. Maps, and Playboy.
–Barnes & Noble, W. 82nd Street
Overheard by: Brooklyn Julie
Guy on cell: Dude, we should bring lightsabers!…I brought my lightsaber for the last two…
–27th & 3rd
Chick: I could get 100 phone numbers in one night if I went to a sci-fi convention!
–Serendipity, E. 60th Street
Overheard by: Djlindee
Geek #1: …and then all of a sudden she put me in a headlock!
Geek #2: So you gonna ask her out?
Geek #1: …do you think I should?
–2 train
Weird girl: Did you bring the scepter?
Weird boy: No, I forgot.
Weird girl: That’s the second time!
Weird boy: I know, I’m sorry! I got the Tetris theme song stuck in my head again!
–D train
Overheard by: Kaela
