Dorks, Geeks and Nerds

Undergrad: Ninjas, see. You can’t creep up on them. You can’t creep up on them because actually they’re creeping up on you. And the person you’re creeping up on is actually a mendicant.

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: pumpkin

Teen girl to friend: No one knows about Staten Island. It’s like the ninja island.

–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island

Overheard by: Green Star

Young lady suit on cell: Want to know what I learned today? Okay, you know how I really hate those rolling briefcases because they fucking ninja you while you’re walking? Well, today I learned that it’s really hard to be angry about a rolling briefcase when it’s being pulled by a genuine midget. It’s like watching a pony pull a cart. It’s adorable!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: she wasn’t too tall herself…

Geeky girl: They should really make a video game about a ninja doing the dishes. That shit would be dope.

–Flatiron District

Surly man: God, it’s just a book!
Man sprinting by, defiantly: No, it’s not!

–17th & Union Square West

Nerd #1, right before exam: You’re making me sweat! And not in a sexual way!
Nerd #2: Then I’m not interested.

–NYU

20-Something dude #1: Do you still use “lol” online?
20-Something dude #2: Nah, I use “omg” instead.

–10th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope

Guy: So in your fantasy life you’re a scholar? That’s ridiculous!

–Williamsburg party

Store guy: I love maps! I could look at maps all day. Maps, and Playboy.

–Barnes & Noble, W. 82nd Street

Overheard by: Brooklyn Julie

Guy on cell: Dude, we should bring lightsabers!…I brought my lightsaber for the last two…

–27th & 3rd

Chick: I could get 100 phone numbers in one night if I went to a sci-fi convention!

–Serendipity, E. 60th Street

Overheard by: Djlindee

Geek #1: …and then all of a sudden she put me in a headlock!
Geek #2: So you gonna ask her out?
Geek #1: …do you think I should?

–2 train

Weird girl: Did you bring the scepter?
Weird boy: No, I forgot.
Weird girl: That’s the second time!
Weird boy: I know, I’m sorry! I got the Tetris theme song stuck in my head again!

–D train

Overheard by: Kaela

Geek #1: I mean, who knew that Mickey Rourke could act?
Geek #2: Dude, yeah! I mean, he’s no Steve Guttenberg.

–Forbidden Planet, 13th Street

I had just missed the train and was waiting on the bench at the end of the platform when a ragged looking crazy man starts pacing around in front of me. He says to himself: …and when I don’t take my medication, I get a little crazy, but I don’t like to take it because it makes me feel different…New Yorkers are all rude. In New Jersey they’ll say “Hi” back to you and ask how you are doing. New Yorkers are all rude or scared.

Crazy man sits a seat down from me. I am a typical computer tech: glasses, chunky, and neat. I am looking straight at the tracks, ignoring him.

Crazy man: This city’s full of queers and niggers and geeks, yeah geeks.

He looks at me and says: They’re all rude or scared. Scared that you’ll beat them. Beat on them. You know what I mean?

I don’t answer and am looking away from him.

Crazy man: See! See! Rude…scared.

He opens a NY Post.

Crazy man: Look at all these murders. All these people dying. Ever think they deserved to die, though?

I get up and walk all the way to the other end of the platform. The F train comes and I get on and sit down. I hear a voice next to me: Ever get the feeling you’re being followed?

–Delancey Street station

Overheard by: Matt

Nerd: They should have an alphabet bar… You know, where they sell you alphabets.
Girl: Wow, are you the new freak on the gymnastics team?

–Bronx Science Gymnastics Team

Overheard by: LSb