Dorks, Geeks and Nerds

Geek #1: I mean, who knew that Mickey Rourke could act?
Geek #2: Dude, yeah! I mean, he’s no Steve Guttenberg.

–Forbidden Planet, 13th Street

I had just missed the train and was waiting on the bench at the end of the platform when a ragged looking crazy man starts pacing around in front of me. He says to himself: …and when I don’t take my medication, I get a little crazy, but I don’t like to take it because it makes me feel different…New Yorkers are all rude. In New Jersey they’ll say “Hi” back to you and ask how you are doing. New Yorkers are all rude or scared.

Crazy man sits a seat down from me. I am a typical computer tech: glasses, chunky, and neat. I am looking straight at the tracks, ignoring him.

Crazy man: This city’s full of queers and niggers and geeks, yeah geeks.

He looks at me and says: They’re all rude or scared. Scared that you’ll beat them. Beat on them. You know what I mean?

I don’t answer and am looking away from him.

Crazy man: See! See! Rude…scared.

He opens a NY Post.

Crazy man: Look at all these murders. All these people dying. Ever think they deserved to die, though?

I get up and walk all the way to the other end of the platform. The F train comes and I get on and sit down. I hear a voice next to me: Ever get the feeling you’re being followed?

–Delancey Street station

Overheard by: Matt

Nerd: They should have an alphabet bar… You know, where they sell you alphabets.
Girl: Wow, are you the new freak on the gymnastics team?

–Bronx Science Gymnastics Team

Overheard by: LSb

Asian hipster/nerd: What’s the difference between sadist and misogynist? What’s the difference between sadist and misogynist? What’s the–
Asian nerd friend: You mean masochist.
Asian hipster/nerd: Oh. … What’s the difference between–
Asian nerd friend: I don’t know!!

–6 Train

Overheard by: AmandaRoyale

Nerd watching fireworks: I’m not really into the cerebral fireworks movement.

–The Great Lawn

Guy: It’s the sort of class where the value of Greek civilization is assessed by expressing its estimated GDP as a fractal.

–Columbia University bookstore

Overheard by: Tim Wolfe

Sweatpants: So, how’s your life doing?
Girl: Um, okay, I guess.
Sweatpants: That’s good… So I was watching Pokemon the other day…

–Mars Bar

Overheard by: Anna Wolinsky

Guy: I just geeked out my profile by a million percent. What do you think?
Girl: Hold up, let me check…
Guy: So what do you think?
Girl: Yeah, that Evangelion child shit is weird.
Guy: Like how weird?

–Starbucks, Astor Place

Overheard by: Zah

Hot girl: I mean, dudes are going to be staring at you anyway, but if your nipples are poking through your shirt then it’s just all over.
Nerdy Guy: Wow… Yeah!

–Upper East Side

Overheard by: rad dude

Geeky boy: So I downloaded this porn the other day and there was a glitch, so when the guy came he was like, ‘Yeah, oh, shit…’ Shit, it was hilarious.
Geeky girl: … Wait, is this a joke?
Geeky boy: Huh? No, it really happened.
Geeky girl, scooting away: God, you’re awkward.


Overheard by: nina