Woman on cell: They just did an autopsy on my mother…What?…Yeah…Autopsy…No, she didn’t fuckin’ die, you asshole. An autopsy! Yeah! On my mother! It’s benign…Okay, listen, man, next time I’m watching CSI, you need to shut the fuck up and watch with me. You can learn shit on there!
–Elevator, Columbia Medical Center
Girl #1: My poop is like my cat’s.
Girl #2: Like pellets?
Girl #1: No, like chronic diarrhea.
Girl #2: Why don’t you take it to the vet?
Girl #1: I havn’t even taken myself to the doctor, so why would I bother going for the cat?
–Time Warner Building, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Suit on cell: So I got some of that topical headache medicine. You know, the cream that comes in a giant chapstick tube so you just rub it on your head without getting it on your hands. Well, I don’t know if it worked. I got so much of it in my eyes that I had to spend the rest of the night in the emergency room.
–Penn Station
Girl on cell: I know! $100 for pills that aren’t even for something that important….it’s not like they’re AIDS pills!
–Carroll Gardens
Old lady #1: I have this paperwork that I need to fill out for my doctor and it asks if I’m allergic to any medications. Can I put down penicillin?
Old lady #2: No one is allergic to penicillin! How did you have an allergic reaction to it?
Old lady #1: Well, it gave me a yeast infection.
–6 train
Overheard by: Crystal Rodriguez
