Guy: Hey, have you ever been to Alcoholics Anonymous?
Girl: No, I’ve never been to a triple-A meeting.
Guy: No dumbass, it’s AA for Alcoholics Anonymous.
Girl: Oh, yeah? Well what does AAA stand for?
Guy: Association…of…American…no, wait…Automobiles? Fuck, I don’t know. It’s for cars, stupid.
–E train
Overheard by: Dan & John
A guy walking down the steps slips but manages to catch himself.
Guy #2: Nice recovery.
Guy #1: Easier than rehab!
–22nd & 9th
Overheard by: Ari Fleischer
Teen boy: Didn’t you know those iPod headphones are bad for you?
Teen girl: No, they’re not.
Teen boy: Uh huh. Look in your manual. It says to throw them away as soon as you buy them.
–F train
Overheard by: sarah kauffman
Man: All our stores are in the St. Louis area.
Woman: So all your stores are in Ohio?
–Javits Center
Girl #1: You shouldn’t waste all that food; there’s people in countries like China who are starving and would love to eat that.
Girl #2: …People in China don’t starve; they have Chinese food there.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Carly
Tourist girl #1: Stop acting like a tourist!
Tourist girl #2: But I am a tourist!
Tourist girl #1: But it’s embarrassing.
Tourist girl #2: If you’re embarrassed over what a ton of people you’ve never seen before and never will see again think, you’re never going to have any fun. Tourists are allowed to act like dorks.
Tourist girl #1: Then why do you make fun of tourists in Boston?
–Doubletree Metropolitan Hotel, Lexington Avenue
Dad: Could you tell me where the auditorium is?
Security guy: It’s on the second floor.
Dad: Wait, you mean it’s actually in the building?
–Hunter College High School, 94th & Park
Girl: But, I mean, it’s not like I ever plan on giving birth.
Guy: Well, if your mother gave birth, it’s like your chances are good that you’ll give birth too.
Girl: …Uh, dude, your mother gave birth.
Guy: Absolutely.
–Park Slope
Guy #1: I don’t mind getting old; I love getting old.
Guy #2: Yeah, just as long as you don’t get pregnant.
–Grove & Bleecker
Woman: Hi!…Oh, I thought you were someone else.
Man: I am.
–52nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Mitch Mahan
Tourist lady #1: Is this it?
Tourist lady #2: I think this is it.
Tourist lady #1: You’d think they’d have signs or something.
Tourist lady #2: Yeah, this must be it, though.
–Times Square
Blind man: Come on, follow me.
–Woodlawn
