Large, intimidating thug: So you think you're grown up, huh? You think you're a man?
Small boy: (nods)
Large, intimidating thug: Then why don't you get a job? Move out?
Small boy: Cause I love you!
Large, intimidating thug, more quietly: Well, I love you too.
–Downtown A Train
Little kid, after passenger belches: Mommy, is that man a new dinosaur species? He sounds like it.
Mom: No, he's just rude.
(subway doors open and the passenger departs)
Little kid, yelling from the door: New species! New species!
–R Line
Mother to young son: If daddy asks you why mommy's upset with him, you say it's because he doesn't take care of her.
Young son: I ain't saying nothing.
–B Train
Little girl to woman walking by: Oh, look–another person, sooooo interesting. It's not like we haven't seen enough of those today.
–D'Agnostino's, Greenwich & Barrow
Overheard by: Margo
Boy walking in church to mom: And when we walk in we'll hear Gregorian chants.
–Trinity Church
Four-year-old boy, after plane's smooth landing: Whoa, that was solid!
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: jen
Kid at birthday party: I thought they were feeding us ice cream, not shit!
–McDonald's, Bayside
Adorable child having a temper tantrum: I don't want to walk, I want to go in the stroller!
(mother ignores him) I'm melting… I'm meeelllting!
–New York Transit Museum
Overheard by: NatalyaPetrovna
Mother to seven-year-old daughter: We take the A to 168th Street and then the 1 to 231st.
Daughter: Ah! Don't you just love travel!
–Uptown A Train
Weary mom with two kids: I'm afraid today is almost too much for mommy.
Toddler: Why?
Weary mom: Because we have to get Sylvia (motions to stroller) home before she falls asleep, and we're pushing our luck.
Toddler: We can do it.
Weary mom, sighing: I admire your spirit.
Toddler: What's “spirit”?
Weary mom: It means your attitude. Your confidence.
Toddler, with renewed energy: We can do it!
–Railway Station Platform
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Stroller mom admonishing toddler: Connor! Connor, stop that now. Connor, I'm going to count to three…in French. Un, deux, trois.
–Broadway & 93rd St
Father, teaching five-year-old son to urinate in the street: Okay, son, now you've gotta shake it.
–Fordham Road
Mom to seven-year-old daughter, on Yom Kippur: Only you could complicate a bagel purchase.
–Absolute Bagels, 108th & Broadway
Yuppie mommy to naughty child: Stop it! Stop acting up! Look, this is the reason people don't have kids.
–Starbucks
Woman to young sons: You see that boy in that other train over there? I'm gonna give him your present if you don't be quiet.
–6 Train
Father to three rowdy children: You guys are gonna need to calm down, this is gonna be a two hour ride and there is no bar car on this train. Which is unfair to daddies with 3 kids.
–Grand Central
Security guy to suit: Why do you all feel like congratulating me for his win? Just cause I'm black doesn't mean I should be congratulated. Why do you keep doing that? What the fuck did I do?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: pop pop
little boy to father: When are the bad people leaving the White House so Obama can be President?
–Grocery Store, 71st & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Rena
FedEx guy to shipping clerk: Obama's gonna go uptown and say, "that's right, niggas, I'z here!"
–W 26th & 6th Ave
Angry black woman on cell: Excuse me! Obama is our President now and I won't be calling you "massa" anymore. You understand?
–Worth & Broadway
Middle-aged black man sitting at bus stop: Not "yo mama," not "Osama," "Obama!" They should paint the White House black. No…that would be irresponsible. Maybe caramel.
–125th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Nicole
Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. I want to wish you all a dry, cozy, Obama weekend. Now could you please spare some change for a hungry man? (young black man gives him change) Now that is an Obama voter. (looks around at white people) I will also accept change from McCain voters.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Steph
Guy on phone, announcing to the bar: My baby can say "Obama"!
–Lucky Jack's, Orchard St
Overheard by: Karin
Five-year-old girl to five-year-old friend: The earth doesn't belong to us, we belong to the earth. Did you know that?
Friend (frustrated): Yeah, I know!
–Co-op Eevator, Queens
Dad: How about pizza for lunch?
Four-year-old boy: No, I think we need to eat something healthier than pizza.
Dad: But it’s really healthy. See, it has all those tomatoes on it.
–Pinnacle
