Restaurant server on smoke break: How were the ladies at the bar?
Drunk man: Those bitches were hot. And I mean “bitches” in the best possible way.
Server: When I say “bitches,” I mean “hoes.”
Plano, Texas
Restaurant server on smoke break: How were the ladies at the bar?
Drunk man: Those bitches were hot. And I mean “bitches” in the best possible way.
Server: When I say “bitches,” I mean “hoes.”
Plano, Texas
Very obnoxious drunk man to long-suffering waitress: Hey, what’s your name, anyway?
Waitress (coldly): Melissa.
Drunk man (softly): Awww, my daughter’s name is Melissa.
Waitress: Well, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but we usually turn out slutty.
Bar
Los Angeles, California
Girl: What good vegetarian options do you have?
Waitress: Well, we have really good turkey burgers.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Hannah
Frustrated waitress: There’s not enough Scotchguard in the world to help those sex cushions!
Rudyard’s
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Hales
Mom: I’ll have a diet Coke.
Dad: I’ll have an iced tea.
10-year-old girl: I’ll have a Bailey’s coffee.
Waitress: Um… Can I see some ID?
10-year-old girl: Okay, I’ll just have coffee, then.
Cheesecake Factory
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: around the corner
Cafeteria lady: Last night Jesus took me home!
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/jesus-jaun-ramirez.html
Overheard by: cherrynwhite
Waitress #1: At least you didn’t pee your pants like you did yesterday.
Waitress #2: I know, right?
Steak-n-Shake
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: pee bee
Server: We need a button on the computer for this…
Boss man: For what?
Server: Balls on your face.
Midlothian, Virginia
Overheard by: bec-uhh
Waiter in white shirt, black pants and black bow tie (singing): Doot doot doot, penguins walking downtown, doot doot doot, penguins smoking cigarettes…
Spokane, Washington