Hipster chick: Why are you lying on the ground?
Drunk Peruvian starts doing pelvic thrusts.
Hipster chick: Are you talking to me with your crotch?
–Bowery Ballroom
Overheard by: Siegal
Hipster chick: Why are you lying on the ground?
Drunk Peruvian starts doing pelvic thrusts.
Hipster chick: Are you talking to me with your crotch?
–Bowery Ballroom
Overheard by: Siegal
Guy: What’s in the steamed little juicy buns?
Four-fingered Chinese waitress: 10 minute longer.
–Ollie’s, 44th & Broadway
Girl on cell: Ugh, so I’m headed to the subway now. I just had to do this job where we were working with a construction crew so of course they were like “let’s give the bull dyke all the construction work.” And I’m like, I don’t know how to fucking use power tools.
–5th Ave & E 39th
Guy #1: Have I ever told you that I got a ticket for public urination?
Guy #2: No way, that’s awesome!
–3rd Ave & 19th St
Guy #1: What’s a clamato? Isn’t that a type of tomato? Tastes like a tomato.
Guy #2: It’s a clam and a tomato.
Guy #1: No… Really?
Guy #3: Yeah. It’s a combination of two words… you know, like dumbass!
–Union Suare
Overheard by: Primo
Ghetto high school girl #1: Gimme the camera!
Ghetto high school girl #2: Noooo! I need to take a picture for myspace. You know what that means!
Ghetto high school girl #1: What?
Ghetto high school girl #2: I gotta look cute! But it has to look normal, like I’m not posing.
Ghetto high school girl #1 grabs the camera and whacks girl #2 on the head. She snaps a photo.
Ghetto high school girl #2: What the fuck bitch!?
Ghetto high school girl #1: [looking at the camera] Oh my god! It’s such a cuuuuuuuuuute picture!
Ghetto high school girl #2: Oh my god! I’m sooooo cute.
–Starbucks, 17th & Union Square W
Girl #1: I can’t believe you’re about to get your culo waxed.
Girl #2: I can’t believe you didn’t get your culo waxed!
Girl #1: You know I have an asshole phobia, for Christ’s sake!
–50th St & 6th Ave
Guy on cell: Yeah….it was a crazy night. Well, we were drinking wine….and, well, you know….one thing lead to another and pretty soon all four of us were in bed together.
–HSBC ATM, Times Square
Girl #1: As Shakespeare once said: “Thou shall not kill.”
Girl #2: No, that would be God.
–11th & University
Man on cell: I tried to call you yesterday but you weren’t home. Where were you? What? Colonoscopy? Did he at least buy you flowers and talk dirty to you? Sorry, yeah that was out of line. I’ll cut the crap now. Oh, ha, ha, I just made an unintended pun. No…no, sorry, man…hello? Hello?
–Penn Station, LIRR waiting area
