Overheard at Cornell

Grad student trying to impress a date: Pigeon shit is the most toxic bird poop.
Date: How do you know that?!


Overheard by: squirrely mcsquirrel

Sorostitute #1: You can’t fail gym!
Sorostitute #2: Um, yes you can. I have a ‘U’ on my transcript in Swedish massage and yoga.


Overheard by: rv

Vice president: We’re all like kind of educated or whatever…


Overheard by: babygirl

Scrawny Jewish boy: I went to Hebrew school for seven years. I can kick anyone’s ass.


Overheard by: smap

Blonde on cell: So I called her up and asked her why she was so mad at me, and she was like, ‘You called me, like, five hundred times when I was with Alan, and I think you’re a creepy stalker. And I talked about it with him and he thinks you’re a stalker, too.’ And I was like, ‘You really think I’m some sort of lesbian stalker?! Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed!’


Overheard by: rv

Freshman girl #1: I met a boy in a kilt on Friday. I wish I would have had sex with him.
Freshman girl #2: Yeah, kilts are hot.


Overheard by: sorostitute

Nerd: Just think of how much money I saved over winter break by playing World of Warcraft — it was 10 dollars a month instead of paying for all the stuff I would have done had I gone out.


Overheard by: doug

Dude: Hey, man, do I have any more swastikas on my face? I tried to wash them all off…


Overheard by: zak

Dude #1: So, we should do some sort of a school prank.
Dude #2: Wouldn’t it be cool if we poisoned all the acorns on campus and had all the squirrels eat them and die? Imagine — dead squirrels everywhere.


Overheard by: anonymous

Enthusiastic law student: I love tiny spoons!


Overheard by: laura and matt