Mom holding dog’s leash: Matthew, when you throw a stick, I’m the one who has to run.
Six-year-old son, cheerfully: Okay!
–10th & 8th, Park Slope
Overheard by: EM
Mom holding dog’s leash: Matthew, when you throw a stick, I’m the one who has to run.
Six-year-old son, cheerfully: Okay!
–10th & 8th, Park Slope
Overheard by: EM
Hobo: Hey, kids, read a book, stay in school, and don’t do drugs!
Woman: Come on, kids, don’t talk to strange, crazy people. What did I tell you about that?! [To hobo, who looks insulted] It’s nothing personal — I just don’t want them to, like, get kidnapped or something, you know?
Hobo: Oh… Oh, um, yeah, I understand… [When woman’s out of earshot] Bitch.
–7th Ave & Garfield, Park Slope
Overheard by: Mike N
Hot ethnic chick: I’m thinking about going to IKEA this weekend. Wanna come?
Curly-haired designer type: You know, I’m gonna pass. I’m just too old for particle board.
–Mule Coffee, 5th Ave, Park Slope
Hot girl #1: Oh my god! He spent the night last night?! Did you have sex?!
Hot girl #2: No, no sex.
Hot girl #1: Well, did you touch his penis?
Hot girl #2: Well, yeah… With my mouth.
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
20-something girl #1: Oooh, I think I see the bus!
20-something girl #2: Yes!
20-something girl #1: Don’t get too excited. I’m not sure I see it yet.
20-something girl #2: I won’t. I mean, it’s just a bus. It’s not like it’s Santa.
–6th & 8th, Park Slope
15-year-old kid at stoop sale: Yo, I should totally buy this.
Friend #1: It’s a door. What are you going to do with a door?
15-year-old kid: Yeah, but it’s only 20 dollars.
Friend #2: You should definitely buy it.
–Carroll St, between 6th & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: mervis
Donation guy: You love animals, don’t you? [Shoves binder in woman’s face.]Tough guy, to girlfriend: I’ll knock him out if he comes at me like that.
Donation guy: You love animals, don’t you? [Shoves binder in tough guy’s face.]Tough guy: No, thank you, sir.
Girlfriend: You didn’t knock him out.
Tough guy: Yeah, I’m a pussy.
–14th & 5th, Park Slope
Overheard by: I Would Have Punched Him
Middle-aged crossing guard lady #1: G’mornin’, sweetheart! You look tired!
Middle-aged crossing guard lady #2: Oh, honey, I’m so hungover…
Passing child, to parent: On a Tuesday?
–7th & 8th, Park Slope
Hipster chick: I have to start a new band… But this time, no sleeping with everyone.
Hipster guy: That’s going to be hard for you.
Hipster chick: I know. I have a hard time keeping it in my pants.
–14th & 5th, Park Slope
Hobo #1: Bitches is crazy, crazy. Had no choice but to fuck that squirrel.
Hobo #2: Nooo, nooo.
Hobo #1: Yup, yup. That squirrel was worth five cents.
Hobo #2: Nooo, I’ll tell you how much that squirrel was worth. $15.98.
–St. Johns Pl, Park Slope
