Little girl in next stall: But what if Old Faithful starts going while we're not out there?
Girl's mother: Well, you'll have to pee really quickly so mommy can pee and then we can go.
Little girl: But you take a long time to pee.
Mother: Yes, I know.
(pause)
Little girl: You take a long time to pee.
Mother: Well, thank you for announcing that to the entire bathroom.
Restroom, Old Faithful Inn
Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming
Little girl: I need a knife.
Concerned mother: What? Why?
Little girl: So I can cut your fingers off!
Concerned mother: Ashley*! Now, that’s not nice!
Little girl: But I’m hungry!
Old Navy
Plainville, Connecticut
Teen daughter: You’re a dickwad.
Mom: No, you’re a dickwad.
Teen daughter: No, you’re a dickwad.
Mom: No, you’re a dickwad.
Granny, with English accent: What’s a dickwad?
Teen daughter: It’s a pile of jism, Granny.
Dad: Okay, family meeting right now!
On the subway
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: jezebel
Boy, screaming into pregnant mother's belly: We're going to give you up for adoption!
Tanger Outlet
Riverhead, New York
Overheard by: bemused
Little boy: Mommy, can we go back to the giant trampoline where you said you saw sexy daddy?
Sedona, Arizona
Overheard by: J
Little girl to friend: You little… Butter, I'm going to whip you up until you smell like rotten juice!
Park Playground
Tacoma, Washington
Daughter: You sure are being stupid today.
Mom: Duh, I have bird poo in my hair.
Seattle, Washington
Three-year-old girl, cheerily scratching at rash: I have excema!
Crowded train
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Eggs
Four-year-old: Mommy? When are you going to marry Daddy?
Mom: Shhh…
Trader Joe’s
Brookline, Massachusetts
Mother to two laughing children running down sidewalk: Get back here! Hold her hand! Get back here right this instant! [Catches them and grabs their hands, pulling them back towards their house, pointing at a nearby car.] That car is sitting there. What if that man would have backed out and hit you?! What if he couldn’t have seen you? What then?
Four-year old boy: Then hooray! Hooray!
Los Angeles, California
