Guy #1: Hey, where you going?
Guy #2: It’s about 3:15 — I gotta go to class.
Guy #1: This is college, not high school. You don’t have to be on time to class.
Guy #3: So, what are we gonna do?
Guy #1: It’s 3:16! I’m late for class!
–CUNY City Tech
Overheard by: Benny
Professor: What have I told you about fairness?
Student: That we should forget about it.
Professor: Yes!
–NYU Law School
Pratt girl: I didn’t know you could think with your name being ethnic and all.
Ethnic chick: Whaaa?
Future Picasso: Her name’s Jewish.
–Classon & Willoughby Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Glad I Didn’t Go To Art School
Freshman: Hi… I’ll get, uh… um… a Screwdriver and, um, a Corona, and with a lime.
Bartender: Generally, when you order a Corona it comes with a lime.
Freshman: Where I’m from, you don’t get a lime unless you ask for it.
Bartender: Where are you from?
Freshman: Westchester.
–Bar near NYU
First year law student: Don’t you think Disney World is romantic?
Second year law student: Anything can be romantic.
First year law student: Yes, anything can be romantic… if you’re on the right drugs.
–Cardozo Law School
Overheard by: Ronaldo
Dude: What happens if we don’t get jobs in the fall?
Chick: We bend over and fuck ourselves in the ass with our giant penises.
Dude: Really? What is anal sex gonna solve?
Chick: Anal sex solves everything!
–Queens College
Overheard by: RIes
Puerto Rican girl: You know what my mother always says? ‘Jesus danced, Jesus drank, or else why would we make a wine out of him?’
Haitian guy: Amen! Hallelujah!
Black girl: Jesus wanted us to get down with it.
–Brooklyn College
Headline by: jason daniel
Runners-Up:
· “Resurrection Red, Walks on Water White, or Virgin Birth Blush?” – Fred
· “Shake This, For This Is My Booty” – Meredith
· “Suffer the Blunts and 40s to Come Unto Me” – likeitornot
· “What CAN’T That Nigga Do?” – Joeritos
· “Word. (of the Lord)” – Janet E
College girl: Oh, I’ve never taken an elevator before.
College guy: Oh, great! Well, you’re in for a real treat.
–St. John’s University, Queens campus
Overheard by: Phillyblunt
Student, looking at clock: It’s time to go, Mr. T.
Teacher, slowly and loudly: It’s time for you to die.
–E 68th St
Student #1, on Jewish circumcision: Isn’t it, like, they cut off your foreskin and put it on your head?
Student #2: Oh my god, that is so awesome! If you could get foreskin yarmulkes, I would totally become Jewish.
–NYU
