Professor: Obviously, this was a very difficult sound to pronounce. Not Latin, Greek, or even Sanskrit uses it. It does not occur outside of the proto-Indo-European language.
Student: Why did they use it?
Professor: They didn’t.
Student: I mean the Indo-Europeans — if it was so difficult to pronounce, why would–
Professor, interrupting: Why the hell does anybody do anything?!
–Etymology class, Hunter College
Student: This case is about Chadha, who was born in Kenya to Indian parents–
Professor, interrupting: –But is that relevant to his deportation proceeding?
Student: It’s relevant to why nobody wants him.
–Fordham Law School
Young English teacher: So, what are the physically detrimental effects of plagiarism?
Student #1: Well, if you have very strict parents and you get caught, then they might skin you.
Student #2: Or if you copy it off your friend and get caught, they might skin you, too.
Young English teacher, excitedly: Right! Plagiarism can lead to mass skinnings.
–Stuyvesant High
Student: Old people sex?! Ewww!
71-year-old professor: Don’t you know that old people fuck like rabbits? We love it!
–NYU
Overheard by: Ash
Young English teacher: Yeah, so it takes me about 10 minutes to walk from my apartment to the subway, and on the way there’s this homeless guy on the corner who is always getting really angry at some invisible person. Then he disappeared for, like, two weeks, and I’m like, ‘Oh, he must’ve died — that’s so sad,’ but then he came back and I was like, ‘Okay, cool.’
Student: What does this have to do with The Odyssey?
Young English teacher: You guys really need to focus.
–Stuyvesant High
College girl: You can’t just call me ‘bitch’ and then everything’s okay.
College boy: You sure?
–12th & Broadway
Overheard by: melzie
Columbia girl: I fucking hate people who go to NYU.
Columbia guy: Me, too. They’re so, ‘Oh, look at me! I’m so artsy and don’t shower.’
Columbia girl: Yeah, and they smoke weed and do acid! Coke is so much classier.
–Tom’s Restaurant
Overheard by: Liz
NYU drama queen #1: I mean, we’re smearing pollen all over him… It’s going to be sticky.
NYU drama queen #2: What are we using for that?
NYU drama queen #1: Corn starch. We were going to use Tang, but that would stain everything…
–E 9th & Ave A
Overheard by: Bailey
Lady suit: Do you know what your skirt is doing?
NYU student: Is it blowing up again?
Lady suit: Yes. Everyone can see your entire ass.
NYU student: You love it.
Lady suit, snorting: Not really.
–12th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jenna
Student #1: So, are you taking any other art history courses?
Student #2: Yeah, that’s my major — I’m taking a million.
Student #1: This class is so hard.
Student #2: It’s okay, I guess…
Student #1: Is it just me, or did you think this class was going to be about pilgrims?
Student #2: Well, it is… I don’t know. Didn’t you read the course description?
Student #1: Yeah, but I thought it was going to be about the kind that eat turkeys and pumpkins…
–The Met
