Professor, about English grammar: Sorry, I lost my train of thought. I was thinking of Samuel L. Jackson.


Overheard by: ed216

Teacher: So, you have two teams. Let's make a team name. Like…the red team and the green team, or the lion team and the tiger team. What's your team name?
Ten-year-old boy: Obama team. (team members nod)
Teacher: Uh, okay. (to other team) So, are you guys the McCain team?
Ten-year-old girl: No! (whispered consultation with team members) Blue team.

English School

Stodgy, old-fashioned professor: It's your birthday? I didn't know, you must not have put it on Facebook.

St. John's

Overheard by: Mel

Male professor, in a very girly voice: Aaaahhh! I'm being trampled by sea horses.

Amherst, Massachusetts

Instructor to student, during class debate: You look like you’re deep in thought there. Anything you want to share with us?
Student: Dude, I was just thinking about hot dogs.

College class
Farmington, Connecticut

Overheard by: Student

Thesis advisor to uncomfortable-looking advisees: You girls might be too young for it, but if you ever have the chance to have sex on a water bed, you should do it.

Colgate University
Madison County, New York

Professor: The French lords were so disbelieving. It was like your favorite puppy going ‘Rawr, rawr, rawr!’ and taking a chunk out of your arm — they were just like, ‘Huh? What?’

Burdine Hall, University of Texas
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: she actually growled

Professor: I just think of this class as 40 days in a row and then it’s over. Like the Jews in Egypt.
Student: It was 40 years.
Professor: 40 years, 40 days. Same difference.

Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts

Philosophy professor, proving his argument: Therefore, if I don’t get a little crazy, then I’m never gonna survive.

Michigan State University

Overheard by: sjshock

IT teacher: So if the CPU usage is really high, choose “end process tree” to kill the process.
Student in back, mumbling: That's what she said…
IT teacher: Damn right that's what she said!


Overheard by: Sunny