NYU bimbette #1: Yeah, see, I totally think there’s something fishy about Dumbledore’s death — especially his funeral. Like, why was he buried out at sea?
NYU bimbette #2: He wasn’t. He was buried at Hogwarts.
NYU bimbette #1: Wait… Am I thinking of First Knight?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Felony
Bimbette on cell: He cheated on me! Yes, he did! He cheated on me and then I gave him another chance and he cheated on me again. And then I gave him another chance and he cheated on me again… Well, I gave him another chance because he would write me these nice love letters…
–12th & Broadway
Dude: On the full moon he’s going to sprout Lee Press On nails!
Chick: I can’t believe he got bit by a tranny…
–Union Square
Meathead #1: Yeah, I definitely think I should go to the interview hung over.
Meathead #2: Why’s that?
Meathead #1: You know, so I’m more charming and likable.
Both meatheads: Definitely!
–6th St & Ave A
Overheard by: my approach is all wrong
Drunk girl: The other thing you should know about me is I have a raw fucking pussy.
Drunk guy, holding her hand: Yeah? Good.
–St. Mark’s & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Bex
Hobo: Can you spare some change?
Boyfriend: No, sorry. [Hobo walks away.] That’s the second person to ask me for money today already.
Girlfriend: Yeah, people are really poor today.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Amber
Hipster chick #1: Oh, so how did your pregnancy test thing go?
Hipster chick #2: It went really well, actually.
Hipster chick #1: Oh, really?
Hipster chick #2: Yeah, my manager emailed me and said it was the best thing I’ve ever done, which totally made my day.
–Broadway & Astor Pl
Overheard by: trailing behind
Dude #1: My girlfriend is allergic to gluten.
Dude #2: Having a girlfriend with a food allergy is worse than having a girlfriend with a dick!
–11th St & Ave B
Bimbette #1: I know you guys made out and had sex. You had a little crush.
Bimbette #2: Well, he was nice to me.
–12th & 4th
NYU girl #1: … And then she, like, bled all over my shit.
NYU girl #2: Oh my god, that is disgusting!
NYU girl #1: Oh, I know.
–E 7th & 2nd Ave
