All Wednesday One-Liners and No Action

Dude to woman: You can’t talk about the second dimension, but you can talk about sewing?!

–12th & 4th

Overheard by: Joy

Asian woman to boyfriend: I am not going to talk about having a threesome with you and your clone on the train!

–Brooklyn-bound F train

Overheard by: Ann

Chick on cell: … Talking about the apocalypse, but they were really laid back people.

–Barnard College

Lady: I can’t even talk to you for seven minutes, and you’re about to be my husband!

–Union Square

Woman on cell: I know you’re full of muscle relaxants and want to chat, but I can’t talk right now. Just take a picture of it and email it to me.

–57th & 6th

Overheard by: Withnail

Girl: Oh! Funny story — I was talking to my therapist about suicide yesterday…

–13th & 6th

Overheard by: gigglesnort

Posted on June 6, 2007
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Girls, Guys, Hospitals, One-liners, Subway Stations, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners

It Takes the Village to Raise a College Kid

College kid #1: You know why I like the Village?
College kid #2: Why?
College kid #1: It’s not Times Square.
College kid #2: Oh, I love the Village because you can eat at a classy pizza establishment and then go next door and buy a dildo.

–13th & 6th

Posted on June 5, 2007
Dildos and Vibrators, Leisure, Students, Union Square and East Village

And I’m Trying to Decide Who Your Father Is

Three-year-old: Why are you staring at me?
Trashy mom: ‘Cause you’re funny-lookin’.

–Filene’s Basement, Union Square

Posted on June 4, 2007
Insults, Moms, Union Square and East Village

And Violate the Prime Directive?

Hipster guy: The Trekkies have yet to produce their own serial murderer.
Hipster girl: Yeah, that we know about…

–St. Mark’s Pl & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: The Doifter

Posted on June 3, 2007
Hipsters, Pop Culture, Union Square and East Village

I’ll Have to See If He Still Respects Me

Hipster girl #1: Yeah, so he seemed like a really nice guy. I met him at Shaina’s party, we had an actual intellectual conversation, he may or may not have poisoned me…
Hipster girl #2: Yeah, but what if he did poison you? I mean, what then?

–3rd & 1st

Posted on June 2, 2007
Crime and Punishment, Hipsters, Questions, Union Square and East Village

Got a Match?

Cop #1 to kid holding paper towels to his bleeding head: Lemme see your head, man. [Kid shows him the gash.] Holy shit!
Kid: What the fuck, man?! Aren’t you supposed to be comforting me or some shit?!
Cop #1: Sorry! Well, at least you’re coherent.
Cop #2: At this point, with that gash, you could light up a joint and I wouldn’t tell.

–9th St, between Ave A & B

Overheard by: rpk