West Virginia

Woman, trying to hush crying baby: Shhhhh… It's okay.
College girl: Ma'am, I am prepared to set fire to your child.

Parkersburg, West Virginia

Mom: Oh, no… A dead chipmunk.
Small child: Yay! A dead chipmunk!

Morgantown, West Virginia

Small-chested hiking girl: Damn! Hey, you'd wipe the sweat off my boobs, right?
Busty hiking girl: Only if you wipe mine.
Small-chested hiking girl: Somehow I think I'm going to have to do a lot more work.
Hiking boy: Uhhh…

Fort Boreman Park Hiking Trails
Parkersburg, West Virginia

Sane-looking girl: Okay, so let's say that your boyfriend died a while back, right? Then he comes back as a zombie, like a real walking corpse. But he doesn't want to eat your brains or anything, he just wants to graduate high school and be your boyfriend again so he can go to prom with you. So, do you take him back?
Boy: Um… Has this actually happened to you?

High School Cafeteria
West Virginia

New homeowner: Did you ever find out what was causing that smell?
Worker: Yep.
New homeowner: What was it?
Worker: I’m not gonna tell ya.
New homeowner: Come on, what was it?
Worker, with a serious face and tone: You’ve got about four and a half to five opossums underneath your house.

Huntington, West Virginia

Overheard by: Jess

College chick: You cannot do a scientific study to see which city is the least gangster!

Charleston, West Virginia

Overheard by: gudo

Five-year-old girl in stall: Mommy, there’s lots of writing in here…
Mother in adjacent stall: Uh-huh… Don’t read it…

Truck stop
Charleston, West Virginia