Chick: You just don’t get me sometimes!
Guy: Like how?
Chick: I don’t like it when you call me a fat pig!
–1 train
Overheard by: Csmith
Chick: You just don’t get me sometimes!
Guy: Like how?
Chick: I don’t like it when you call me a fat pig!
–1 train
Overheard by: Csmith
Drunk boyfriend at party: Babe, get me some chicken on a stick.
Annoyed girlfriend: Get it yourself.
Drunk boyfriend: But I might make a mess and embarrass you…
Annoyed girlfriend: I don’t care anymore.
Girl passerby, handing him chicken on a stick: Here, have some chicken!
Annoyed girlfriend: Maybe you should date her.
Male passerby: Yeah, she seems like a keeper.
–Gibson Studios, W 54th, between 9th & 10th
Drunk boyfriend: Come over here!
JAP girlfriend: Ask nicely!
Drunk boyfriend: Please, bitch, come over here!
–50th & 3rd
Overheard by: REGGIE FACE
Girlfriend: There’s too many roaches in the apartment!
Boyfriend: Look, no matter where you go in New York there’s going to be a lot of roaches.
Girlfriend: Shut up! I’m from the goddamn city! I don’t want roaches crawling on me when I’m pooping!
–Maujer St, Brooklyn
Boyfriend: Yeah, we gotta get some oil.
Girlfriend: No, not oil, K-Y.
Boyfriend: Oil, K-Y — it’s the same thing.
Girlfriend: No, K-Y is a gel. It’s water-based. Oil is not.
Boyfriend: Water and oil are, like, the same thing.
–F train
Overheard by: 2WongFu
Guy: So, when did you guys get married?
Husband: March.
Wife, at same time: May.
Husband: Uh-oh.
–6 train
Boyfriend, about punk girl passersby: Man, whatever happened to fake titties and a tan?
Girlfriend, possessing neither: Hey!
Boyfriend: Oh, sorry.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: bemused eavesdropper
Teen boy: Shit, man, I can’t believe I got an F on that vocabulary test. I didn’t study, but I’m utterly devastated. See? I know the vocab!
Girlfriend: I like the word ‘utterly’ — it reminds me of cows.
Teen boy: It reminds me of boobs.
–Union Square
Overheard by: CeLia
Girlfriend: What was the name of that girl?
Boyfriend: Who?
Girlfriend: The one that was totally in love with you?
Boyfriend: Yeah, she was awesome.
Girlfriend: Who?
Boyfriend: No idea.
–Bergen & Flatbush, Brooklyn
Hobo: Ahhh.
Girlfriend: Ewww, he peed on me!
Boyfriend: And you’re wearing sandals!
–Q train
