Middle-aged woman: What’s with the ‘Make cupcakes, not war’ shirt?
30-something guy: I have a friend who is an activist.
Middle-aged woman: Yikes, that’s scary.
30-something guy: I hear you. Democracy works so much better when people don’t get involved.
–Times Square
20-ish guy: You mean, you don’t look before sitting on a subway?! I mean, come on!
20-ish girl #1: It looks like puke.
20-ish girl #2: But it smells like bubble gum — it can’t be puke.
20-ish girl #3: I thought it was cum!
–V train
Mid-20s guy: He was like, ‘The market’s been up and down,’ so I was like, ‘Yeah, I’ve been up and down on your mom.’
Mid-20s girl: Oh, that’s real classy of you.
Mid-20s guy: What? You call people ‘faggots’ all the time!
Mid-20s girl: Yeah, but I don’t call their moms faggots!
–Q train
Overheard by: KingM and ALP
Hot chick: So, the first time I got drunk, I was drinking whiskey.
Yuppie dude: The first time I got drunk, it was Baileys Irish Cream.
Hot chick: Oh… My friend just told me that was a fat girl drink.
–Bar, Chelsea
Overheard by: two stools over
Drinker #1: I stopped on the way home last night and grabbed a bottle of wine.
Drinker #2: No, we have a rule — no drinking anymore on weeknights.
Drinker #1: Oh, no, it was fine. I already had beer at work.
–46th & 6th
Man: So what do you think of the name I-lizabeth?
Woman: It’s not I-lizabeth, it’s ‘Ilizabeth.’
Man: I know. Elizabeth with an I. That’s so stupid.
Woman: What business is it of yours what they name their baby?
Man: I’m here and I’m aware of it, so I’m voicing my opinion. Spelling a name wrong is stupid. I guess they think it’s cute, but it’s gonna be a burden on that kid her whole life.
Woman: Why don’t you just shut up and keep your opinions to yourself?
Man: Well, then don’t invite me to these fucking parties where people make their stupidity public.
Woman: Just do me a favor — eat and keep your mouth shut until you leave.
–Baby-naming party, E 34th & 2nd
Overheard by: Big Larry
Blonde: You’re seeing your astrologist tomorrow?
Tattooed girl: Yeah, my pussy’s been tingling lately, and I need to find out why.
–Washington Square
Girl crying on doorstep: Just leave so I can live my life!
Guy friend: I would, but I don’t think I should leave you. If anything, you should leave me so I know you’re okay.
Girl: That’s the gayest, most ’80s thing I’ve ever heard! [Guy, laughing hysterically, gets up and walks away.]Guy friend: Bravo — that was the best insult I’ve ever heard in my life!
–8th & Ave C
Guy in pink wig: So, have you heard from your friend Craig recently?
Go-go girl: No. I think he’s dead.
Guy in pink wig: He’s not dead. He has recent Facebook activity.
–1 train
Overheard by: nycdoll
Girl: So, whatever happened to Joe*? I heard he was engaged to some girl. I thought he was gay…
Guy: I don’t care what he says he is — once you lose your butt virginity, you’re gay for life.
–Manhattan-bound N train
