Hot chick: So, the first time I got drunk, I was drinking whiskey.
Yuppie dude: The first time I got drunk, it was Baileys Irish Cream.
Hot chick: Oh… My friend just told me that was a fat girl drink.
–Bar, Chelsea
Overheard by: two stools over
Hot chick: So, the first time I got drunk, I was drinking whiskey.
Yuppie dude: The first time I got drunk, it was Baileys Irish Cream.
Hot chick: Oh… My friend just told me that was a fat girl drink.
–Bar, Chelsea
Overheard by: two stools over
Drinker #1: I stopped on the way home last night and grabbed a bottle of wine.
Drinker #2: No, we have a rule — no drinking anymore on weeknights.
Drinker #1: Oh, no, it was fine. I already had beer at work.
–46th & 6th
Man: So what do you think of the name I-lizabeth?
Woman: It’s not I-lizabeth, it’s ‘Ilizabeth.’
Man: I know. Elizabeth with an I. That’s so stupid.
Woman: What business is it of yours what they name their baby?
Man: I’m here and I’m aware of it, so I’m voicing my opinion. Spelling a name wrong is stupid. I guess they think it’s cute, but it’s gonna be a burden on that kid her whole life.
Woman: Why don’t you just shut up and keep your opinions to yourself?
Man: Well, then don’t invite me to these fucking parties where people make their stupidity public.
Woman: Just do me a favor — eat and keep your mouth shut until you leave.
–Baby-naming party, E 34th & 2nd
Overheard by: Big Larry
Blonde: You’re seeing your astrologist tomorrow?
Tattooed girl: Yeah, my pussy’s been tingling lately, and I need to find out why.
–Washington Square
Girl crying on doorstep: Just leave so I can live my life!
Guy friend: I would, but I don’t think I should leave you. If anything, you should leave me so I know you’re okay.
Girl: That’s the gayest, most ’80s thing I’ve ever heard! [Guy, laughing hysterically, gets up and walks away.]Guy friend: Bravo — that was the best insult I’ve ever heard in my life!
–8th & Ave C
Guy in pink wig: So, have you heard from your friend Craig recently?
Go-go girl: No. I think he’s dead.
Guy in pink wig: He’s not dead. He has recent Facebook activity.
–1 train
Overheard by: nycdoll
Girl: So, whatever happened to Joe*? I heard he was engaged to some girl. I thought he was gay…
Guy: I don’t care what he says he is — once you lose your butt virginity, you’re gay for life.
–Manhattan-bound N train
20-ish girl: Oh, yeah! That game where you try to make her cum?
20-ish guy: Yeah.
20-ish girl: I played that last night!
–E train
Overheard by: Beth
Queer: Remember last night, when you had two dicks in your face?
Black girl: Everyone last night had two dicks in their faces.
–Gold St & Maiden Ln
Overheard by: wreckingcru
Roommate #1: Man, I fucking love this weather.
Roommate #2: Yeah. Have you been outside today?
Roommate #1: No, I’m looking at it on my computer.
–15th & 1st
Overheard by: Joe
