Girl: Yeah, the room in the apartment is only four hundred bucks a month.
Guy: No way! No place in the city is only four hundred a month. You probably have to shit in the bathtub.
–Bainbridge & Malcolm X, Brooklyn
Girl: Yeah, the room in the apartment is only four hundred bucks a month.
Guy: No way! No place in the city is only four hundred a month. You probably have to shit in the bathtub.
–Bainbridge & Malcolm X, Brooklyn
20-ish guy: You could transfer to the two, to the four, to the D…
20-ish girl: I could… I could also stick a glass dildo in my eye, but I don’t want to do that, either.
–Rush hour, 1 train, 86th St
Overheard by: Lulu
Trendy college guy, about girl #1: We had really good sex last night.
Girl #2: That’s nice. Did you have really good sex this morning, too?
Girl #1: No way — his apartment was way too hot.
Girl #2: You could’ve did it in the shower…
Girl #1: Oh, yeah, we didn’t think of that… Oh, well, I’m over it.
–47th & 9th
Overheard by: Janice
Woman in sweats: I liked playing Scrabble with her… She killed her daughter with a hammer and a shovel.
Man in sweats: Yeah?
Woman in sweats: Well, she beat her first with the hammer and then the shovel.
Man in sweats: Huh.
–5th Ave & Prospect Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: dusdin
Guy: Well, maybe you could touch his hair — just a little bit.
Girl, after pause: Do you think that would work?
–49th & 6th
Overheard by: Scarfish
Blonde: I just had the meanest thought in the whole world.
Guy: I doubt it.
Brunette: Tell us what it was, and then we’ll judge.
Blonde: Okay, well, I hope that Tim and Tom don’t realize we have a Spanish test tomorrow, because I always study way more than them and they still score, like, 20 points higher than me.
Brunette: Oh, that’s not mean. There are way meaner thoughts, like I hope Tim and Tom catch rickets so they’re too sick to take the test.
Guy: Yeah, or like let’s force all the Jews out of Germany and burn them in an oven.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
Man: Have you heard from Jim recently?
Woman with heavy Russian accent: Yes. He says he’s not having much sex.
–Hard Rock Café
Overheard by: Just trying to get to Bubba Gump’s
Middle-aged woman: What’s with the ‘Make cupcakes, not war’ shirt?
30-something guy: I have a friend who is an activist.
Middle-aged woman: Yikes, that’s scary.
30-something guy: I hear you. Democracy works so much better when people don’t get involved.
–Times Square
20-ish guy: You mean, you don’t look before sitting on a subway?! I mean, come on!
20-ish girl #1: It looks like puke.
20-ish girl #2: But it smells like bubble gum — it can’t be puke.
20-ish girl #3: I thought it was cum!
–V train
Mid-20s guy: He was like, ‘The market’s been up and down,’ so I was like, ‘Yeah, I’ve been up and down on your mom.’
Mid-20s girl: Oh, that’s real classy of you.
Mid-20s guy: What? You call people ‘faggots’ all the time!
Mid-20s girl: Yeah, but I don’t call their moms faggots!
–Q train
Overheard by: KingM and ALP
