20-something girl: Seriously, I love it when guys cum on my face.
20-something guy: Really?
20-something girl: Yeah, you can ask anyone.
–Greenpoint Ave & Manhattan Ave
Overheard by: Yael
20-something girl: Seriously, I love it when guys cum on my face.
20-something guy: Really?
20-something girl: Yeah, you can ask anyone.
–Greenpoint Ave & Manhattan Ave
Overheard by: Yael
Hoochie: I tried anal sex and it just hurt too much. Then I figured out that if you just douche your ass, it doesn’t hurt at all!
Wannabe hoochie: Really?!
–Bar, Staten Island
Overheard by: yohezzy
Hoochie #1: Wait, he has a kid?
Hoochie #2: Yeah! Crazy, right?
Hoochie #1: So, are you going to be a step-mommy?
Hoochie #2: No, no, no… Not a step-mommy. I’m the slutty, hot, 25-year-old that fucks Daddy.
–Astor Pl
Overheard by: christiaan montgomery
Stoner #1: We’re married now.
Hoochie: We are?
Stoner #1: Yeah. We just met a sea captain, and he married us.
Stoner #2: Oh, Ahab?
–89th & York
Hoochie: He thought I was boring because I wouldn’t blow him.
–34th & 6th
Hoochie #1: I need to shave.
Hoochie #2: So, you’ll shave when you get back.
Hoochie #1: I can’t.
Hoochie #2: Why not?
Hoochie #1: It’s no-shave Wednesday.
–F train
Hoochie #1: He was so drunk he just pushed my legs together and started humping them.
Hoochie #2: How did that work? Wasn’t it dry?
Hoochie #1: He was sweating so much it acted like lube!
–86th & 3rd
Overheard by: Peter
Hoochie #1: I mean, I guess there are worse things than getting pissed on by Ray J….
Hoochie #2, after long, incredulous pause: Like what?!
–46th & 6th
Overheard by: Still disturbed, even though I know who Kim Kardashian is
Chick #1: Didn’t you wear that yesterday?
Chick #2: Yeah, but I didn’t sleep at home last night.
Chick #1: You stayed at your boy’s place? You’ve been dating forever! Don’t you keep clothing there?
Chick #2: I do, but I was fucking my boss. I need a raise.
Chick #1: I did that once, and it so worked.
–1 train
Overheard by: On the periphery
Chick #1: Did you know that Jim* and Sarah* slept together?
Chick #2: Ewww!
Chick #1: Yeah, and I was in the bed at the time.
–South St Seaport
