Twentysomething guy at urinal #1: Damn, some of the girls getting trashed here are only in high school!
Twentysomething guy at urinal #2: Yeah, I’m glad I didn’t bring my wife.
–114th & Broadway
Twentysomething guy at urinal #1: Damn, some of the girls getting trashed here are only in high school!
Twentysomething guy at urinal #2: Yeah, I’m glad I didn’t bring my wife.
–114th & Broadway
Hipster chick: Why are you lying on the ground?
Drunk Peruvian starts doing pelvic thrusts.
Hipster chick: Are you talking to me with your crotch?
–Bowery Ballroom
Overheard by: Siegal
Guy: What’s in the steamed little juicy buns?
Four-fingered Chinese waitress: 10 minute longer.
–Ollie’s, 44th & Broadway
Girl on cell: Ugh, so I’m headed to the subway now. I just had to do this job where we were working with a construction crew so of course they were like “let’s give the bull dyke all the construction work.” And I’m like, I don’t know how to fucking use power tools.
–5th Ave & E 39th
Guy #1: Have I ever told you that I got a ticket for public urination?
Guy #2: No way, that’s awesome!
–3rd Ave & 19th St
Guy #1: What’s a clamato? Isn’t that a type of tomato? Tastes like a tomato.
Guy #2: It’s a clam and a tomato.
Guy #1: No… Really?
Guy #3: Yeah. It’s a combination of two words… you know, like dumbass!
–Union Suare
Overheard by: Primo
Ghetto high school girl #1: Gimme the camera!
Ghetto high school girl #2: Noooo! I need to take a picture for myspace. You know what that means!
Ghetto high school girl #1: What?
Ghetto high school girl #2: I gotta look cute! But it has to look normal, like I’m not posing.
Ghetto high school girl #1 grabs the camera and whacks girl #2 on the head. She snaps a photo.
Ghetto high school girl #2: What the fuck bitch!?
Ghetto high school girl #1: [looking at the camera] Oh my god! It’s such a cuuuuuuuuuute picture!
Ghetto high school girl #2: Oh my god! I’m sooooo cute.
–Starbucks, 17th & Union Square W
Girl #1: I can’t believe you’re about to get your culo waxed.
Girl #2: I can’t believe you didn’t get your culo waxed!
Girl #1: You know I have an asshole phobia, for Christ’s sake!
–50th St & 6th Ave
Guy on cell: Yeah….it was a crazy night. Well, we were drinking wine….and, well, you know….one thing lead to another and pretty soon all four of us were in bed together.
–HSBC ATM, Times Square
Girl #1: As Shakespeare once said: “Thou shall not kill.”
Girl #2: No, that would be God.
–11th & University
