Teacher: … And you’ll finish up the unit on slavery with a project about a historical figure in the slavery era.
7th grader: Can I do mine on Thomas Jefferson’s baby’s mama?
–University Neighborhood Middle School
Teacher: … And you’ll finish up the unit on slavery with a project about a historical figure in the slavery era.
7th grader: Can I do mine on Thomas Jefferson’s baby’s mama?
–University Neighborhood Middle School
Professor: So, what did you all think of the Bodies Exhibit? Is there any part of the human anatomy you think you’d change if you had the chance?
Hipster guy: I’d get rid of nipples on guys. They’re kind of pointless.
Professor: That’s true. Although some men have very sensitive bosoms and enjoy being touched there. Have any of you ever been with a man who had a sensitive bosom? [One student awkwardly raises her hand.]
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: traPt
Teacher: Ben, you got a six out of ten. That’s not great.
Ben: Mr. L*, I’m gonna tell you my life motto. It is, ‘If you push me over the edge, I will grab you by the neck and pull you down with me… And then push you into Hell.’
–Bronx Science
Student: Um, sir, don’t you have to divide through by X?
Elderly math teacher: I have no idea what you just said, but I’m sure it was provocative.
–Stuyvesant High
Overly energetic theology professor: Now, let’s talk about the apocalypse!
Several un-enthused students: Yay…
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
English teacher: Midas wanted everything he touched to turn to gold. What did he touch?
Student: His stuff…?
English teacher: Let’s not even go there.
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
Professor: What have I told you about fairness?
Student: That we should forget about it.
Professor: Yes!
–NYU Law School
Student, looking at clock: It’s time to go, Mr. T.
Teacher, slowly and loudly: It’s time for you to die.
–E 68th St
Professor: … And who doesn’t want to be Buffy the Vampire Slayer?!
Girl: I don’t.
Professor: Well, fine. You’re a freak.
–NYU
Professor: Obviously, this was a very difficult sound to pronounce. Not Latin, Greek, or even Sanskrit uses it. It does not occur outside of the proto-Indo-European language.
Student: Why did they use it?
Professor: They didn’t.
Student: I mean the Indo-Europeans — if it was so difficult to pronounce, why would–
Professor, interrupting: Why the hell does anybody do anything?!
–Etymology class, Hunter College
