College girl: You can’t just call me ‘bitch’ and then everything’s okay.
College boy: You sure?
–12th & Broadway
Overheard by: melzie
College girl: You can’t just call me ‘bitch’ and then everything’s okay.
College boy: You sure?
–12th & Broadway
Overheard by: melzie
Guy: I always run into you here! It’s like our little date time.
Chick: We’re not dating… but sure.
Guy: I know. I was trying to be cute, dammit!
Chick, laughing: I know… And you do a good job of it, but I still hate you.
Guy: I know, but it’s the kind of hate that can make this friendship work. [Long pause, then] God, that’s really fucked up.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jesus Jon
Girl: You’re so strong and handsome!
Guy: You’re so skinny and fuckable.
–East Village
Girl: But the other guy was supposed to get me those shoes. Why can’t you get them for me?
Shoe dude: Ma’am, no one will ever get you those shoes.
–Shoemania, Union Square
Overheard by: moodle
Brunette: I usually sit in front of him, but he got to class late the day we had the midterm and the only seat left was in front of me… And then I didn’t know how to do any of the problems, so I just stared at him and daydreamed about playing with his balls and batting my eyelashes while giving him a blowjob.
Blonde: I strongly advise against mentioning that if you ever actually speak to him.
–Salon V, East Village
Overheard by: raconteuse
Little boy: Daddy, Daddy! Look at the cars! Shoot the cars!
Dad, making finger-gun: Bang, bang, bang, bang!
–12th & 4th
Overheard by: NYU girl
NYU drama queen #1: I mean, we’re smearing pollen all over him… It’s going to be sticky.
NYU drama queen #2: What are we using for that?
NYU drama queen #1: Corn starch. We were going to use Tang, but that would stain everything…
–E 9th & Ave A
Overheard by: Bailey
Lady suit: Do you know what your skirt is doing?
NYU student: Is it blowing up again?
Lady suit: Yes. Everyone can see your entire ass.
NYU student: You love it.
Lady suit, snorting: Not really.
–12th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jenna
Customer: Hey, I think you have a roach over there.
Waiter: Yeah, there are rats, too.
–Ave A
Drunk black girl: I just wanna pull my tits out!
Drunk white girl: Not here. In Africa, fine, but not here.
–14th St, between 1st & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Someone who’s sure they’ve never been to Africa.
