Hipster girl #1: I’ve never seen a fat midget.
Hipster girl #2: Oh, god, who would ever want to see a fat midget?! I’m sure they don’t exist.
–1st Ave, between 12th & 13th St
Overheard by: rpk
Hipster girl #1: I’ve never seen a fat midget.
Hipster girl #2: Oh, god, who would ever want to see a fat midget?! I’m sure they don’t exist.
–1st Ave, between 12th & 13th St
Overheard by: rpk
Asian queer, looking over his shoulder: I think I jerked him off.
Italian queer: Who?
Asian queer: That guy in the green shirt… It’s pretty bad when you can’t keep track of all the people you’ve jerked off.
–Union Square
Hardhat: Sir, what are you looking for?
Guy: There’s a store on this street that sells toupées for old ladies’ cunts.
–E 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Cassie
Jewish guy, to young white couple: Excuse me, are you Jewish?
Hobo: Man, do they fucking look Jewish?! Leave them the fuck alone, and get the hell outta here!
–9th & 2nd
Overheard by: 54
Headline by: Michael DeLong
Runners-Up:
· “Go Circumcise Somebody Else!” – John
· “Jesus Returns to Do Some Street Work” – Sim Etrias
· “Let My People Go, Bitch!” – jenna
· “Moses Had Such A Temper” – Dion
· “Sorry, Didn’t Notice He Was Short One Foreskin.” – Sheathed
· “Where Can I Get a Hobo Bodyguard?” – Ashley
Drunk guy: So, like, have you ever had to knock someone out?
Large bouncer: Not yet.
–10th & Ave B
Overheard by: Drewster
Tall blonde: I just don’t think I’d be comfortable on a nude beach.
Boyfriend: I would be.
–Union Square West
Overheard by: Michelle
Crazy guy: Vote for me for king of the world!
Passerby: What on your resume qualifies you to be king of the world?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Morgan
Woman to Eric*: Are you a sexual adventurer?
Man: Eric is the Amerigo Vespucci of ass play.
–Against the Grain, East Village
Overheard by: Adam
Young girl to brother: Hey, you better get home or I’m gonna tell Mom that you stole that money from her purse.
Little boy: You do that, bitch, and I’m gonna tell Durell you got your period when you were nine.
Young girl: Mothafuckah, that was, like, last year!
–Ave A
Overheard by: Padraic. Your Prince
Guy: Oh, man, my wrist hurts! I think I got carpal tunnel.
Friend: How?
Guy: I was fingering that bitch all night.
Friend: Oh.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Lucy and Emily
