Girl: You know, I love sushi, but it’s just too much raw fish. And you know how, like, people call pussy raw fish? I guess I’m eating pussy, then? Ha! Would that make me a lesbian?
Friend: You better die.
Girl: Okay, I’ll stop smoking crack now.
–7th & 2nd
Overheard by: Keesha Brown
Thin woman: I’m on a hundred and eighty milligrams of meth right now!
Portly man: Oh, man, if only I knew what I was on.
–E 11th St
Drunk girl yelling at her friend: The only thing I asked you to do was not to put any money in his boxers! [Sees staring passerby.] What?! You want to see a fight?!
Passerby: Yep.
–4th & 2nd
Overheard by: Tabitha Junkers
Guy: I liked it. What’d you think?
Date: It was okay, I guess. I don’t know about the ending, though.
Guy: Well, I’m pretty sure it has some deeper meaning. I’ll have to check some message boards and find out.
–Regal Cinemas, Union Square
Hardhat #1: I can’t!
Hardhat #2: How come?
Hardhat #1: I gotta go home.
Hardhat #2: Why?
Hardhat #1: It’s Thursday. I get fucked on Thursday.
–13th & Ave A
Drunk NYU girl: So, what I’d really like to do is help the innocent… [Drunk friend laughs.] With, like, fireballs!
–Bowery & 4th
Overheard by: davis
Father, dragging four-year-old daughter across street: Come on! [Little girl trips.] Oh!
Mother, from behind: What happened?
Father: She wasn’t paying attention!
Mother: Sarah, this is what happens when you’re eating your shirt and looking the wrong way! You smack into the curb!
–E 15th & Irving Pl
Girl crying on doorstep: Just leave so I can live my life!
Guy friend: I would, but I don’t think I should leave you. If anything, you should leave me so I know you’re okay.
Girl: That’s the gayest, most ’80s thing I’ve ever heard! [Guy, laughing hysterically, gets up and walks away.]Guy friend: Bravo — that was the best insult I’ve ever heard in my life!
–8th & Ave C
Old guy: Hey! You respect your elders! Don’t be disrespectful to your elders!
12-year-old boy: Shut the fuck up! Come here! Come over here! I’ll fuck you up! Fuck you!
Passerby: I’d love to see an old man and a little kid throw down in the middle of Union Square.
–Union Square
Hobo #1: The scientists are destroying the universe!
Passerby: I totally agree!
Hobo #2: And religions, man! Fucking religions!
–4th & Ave A
