Drunk NYU girl: So, what I’d really like to do is help the innocent… [Drunk friend laughs.] With, like, fireballs!
–Bowery & 4th
Overheard by: davis
Drunk NYU girl: So, what I’d really like to do is help the innocent… [Drunk friend laughs.] With, like, fireballs!
–Bowery & 4th
Overheard by: davis
Father, dragging four-year-old daughter across street: Come on! [Little girl trips.] Oh!
Mother, from behind: What happened?
Father: She wasn’t paying attention!
Mother: Sarah, this is what happens when you’re eating your shirt and looking the wrong way! You smack into the curb!
–E 15th & Irving Pl
Girl crying on doorstep: Just leave so I can live my life!
Guy friend: I would, but I don’t think I should leave you. If anything, you should leave me so I know you’re okay.
Girl: That’s the gayest, most ’80s thing I’ve ever heard! [Guy, laughing hysterically, gets up and walks away.]Guy friend: Bravo — that was the best insult I’ve ever heard in my life!
–8th & Ave C
Old guy: Hey! You respect your elders! Don’t be disrespectful to your elders!
12-year-old boy: Shut the fuck up! Come here! Come over here! I’ll fuck you up! Fuck you!
Passerby: I’d love to see an old man and a little kid throw down in the middle of Union Square.
–Union Square
Hobo #1: The scientists are destroying the universe!
Passerby: I totally agree!
Hobo #2: And religions, man! Fucking religions!
–4th & Ave A
College girl: You can’t just call me ‘bitch’ and then everything’s okay.
College boy: You sure?
–12th & Broadway
Overheard by: melzie
Guy: I always run into you here! It’s like our little date time.
Chick: We’re not dating… but sure.
Guy: I know. I was trying to be cute, dammit!
Chick, laughing: I know… And you do a good job of it, but I still hate you.
Guy: I know, but it’s the kind of hate that can make this friendship work. [Long pause, then] God, that’s really fucked up.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jesus Jon
Girl: You’re so strong and handsome!
Guy: You’re so skinny and fuckable.
–East Village
Girl: But the other guy was supposed to get me those shoes. Why can’t you get them for me?
Shoe dude: Ma’am, no one will ever get you those shoes.
–Shoemania, Union Square
Overheard by: moodle
Brunette: I usually sit in front of him, but he got to class late the day we had the midterm and the only seat left was in front of me… And then I didn’t know how to do any of the problems, so I just stared at him and daydreamed about playing with his balls and batting my eyelashes while giving him a blowjob.
Blonde: I strongly advise against mentioning that if you ever actually speak to him.
–Salon V, East Village
Overheard by: raconteuse
