Guy: … And then she gets all pissed because I wouldn’t go down on her after we made love.
Female friend: Did she orgasm?
Guy: Well, no, but I really didn’t want to get my own semen all over my face!
Female friend: She gets your semen all over her face all the time!
–St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: agrees with the woman.
Lady: Pay attention! My legs don’t stop there.
Hubby: But yo’ pants do.
–E 12th & Ave A
Overheard by: Bases McGee
Woman #1: They’re always having kids.
Woman #2: I think she just gets pregnant really easily.
–Union Square
Man #1: Yo, I heard Osama may run for President in 2008. That’s crazy, man. If he comes out the cave, they will get him for sure.
Man #2: I think it’s Obama who may run — Senator Obama.
Man #1: Oh. I still think Osama would have a chance.
–E 4th St
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Female student: He couldn’t keep his eyes off of me.
Friend: Yeah?
Female student: Yeah, if I had said, ‘Jump,’ he would’ve said, ‘How high?’ That’s how fucking hot I was last night.
–Union Square
Overheard by: billy
Bible thumper: There is a reason they call it ‘Black Friday.’ This is the end of times, folks. They are here.
Queer working at Alexia Crawford: Man, I can’t wait to be 60 and bitter.
–Union Square
Overheard by: ritechus
College stoner: Wouldn’t it be awesome if, instead of being Oedipus’s mother, Jocasta was Wal-Mart or some other embodiment of the commercial-industrial complex? And, instead of blinding himself with his mother-wife’s brooches, Oedipus stabs himself in the eyes with his name tag pin? Like, I wonder what that all would mean, dude. You ever think about that?
Studious black friend: Wow. Pretentious much? Or are you just hashed right now?
College stoner: Hashed, man. Totally. What were we talking about, again? Oh, yeah!
–The Strand, Union Square
Overheard by: neongensis
Girl yelling to friend across street: Hey, guess what? I smelled it! I smelled it from here!
–Fordham University
Blonde on cell: So, I just took my hair down, and all I smelled was Dove and crack.
–JFK
Overheard by: spanky
Man to no one: It smells like my ex-wife in here!
–Highline Ballroom
Hootchie on cell: No joke — it smelled ripe down there. I be all, ‘Jimmy… D-A-M-N! I’m too busy gagging from the smell to gag on your bits.’
–W Broadway
Girl crying on cell to boyfriend: How could you fuck her?! Her pussy stinks!
–Union Square
Overheard by: SplendidConfusion
Thug on cell: Yo, I’m sure she smells better now, bro!
–Harlem Meer, Central Park
Overheard by: mj
10-year-old, about two girls walking by: Yo, she’s mad tall! And she’s mad short! That’s mad crazy!
Passerby: I agree!
–Houston & Ave A
Overheard by: The short one.
Girl #1: If I were pregnant, when would I start throwing up? I mean, like, where can I get an abortion? Will they tell my parents?
Girl #2: I don’t know. Why does everyone always ask me?
Boy: ‘Cause you’re a whore.
–6th & 2nd
Overheard by: kristin
