Wednesday One‐Liner: Is It in You?

Girl on phone: Oh my god, mom! Aren’t you so excited about these new reforms? I am so excited about these new reforms! Almost as excited as I am about my new water bottle!

–Barnard College Campus

Black guy to two other guys: And then he disrespected me… So I threw a bottle of Snapple at his head.

–Central Park

Guy selling water in the street: Ice cold water! Ice cold water! One dollar. Only a dollar. It’s only a dollar, assholes!


Guy speaking to someone else: Juice! It’s moose, with a j, holla!

–Highline Ballroom

Overheard by: Pasha