Woman on cell: Putting something inside you that vibrates is sort of like being at a construction site. I’m still getting used to my vibrator, too…

–Herald Square

Overheard by: GG

Geeky chick on cell: Sheesh, you’re just wearing her gloves, not reusing one of her condoms!

–4 train

Man on cell, paddle-boating with girlfriend: Hey, man! Yeah, I’m with my whip on the lake — she’s paddling me around!

–Central Park

Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie

Beauty on cell: Fuck you! What about the Astroglide? Fuck you! What about the rubbers? Fuck you, you asshole! Fuck you! Fuck you!

–W 4th St

Overheard by: cato

30-something lady on cell: I have told you: I am absolutely not going to wear that outfit when I have sex with you. I mean it!

–8th and 36th

Suit on cell: So they gave me this amazing cream for my burn that made my skin amazingly soft — you know, like Astroglide.

–80 Central Park West & 68th St

Overheard by: Ray Zinbran

Teacher: We need our high-power sexual devices!

–Brooklyn Tech