Tourist dad: Kids, you have pay attention when we’re in the big city, ’cause…
Daughter: ‘Cause if you don’t you die?
Dad: No, you could get lost and then you’ll become a street person.
–Central Park South
Tourist dad: Kids, you have pay attention when we’re in the big city, ’cause…
Daughter: ‘Cause if you don’t you die?
Dad: No, you could get lost and then you’ll become a street person.
–Central Park South
Four-year-old girl: Jose!
Latino dad: Stop callin’ me jose! What’s my name?!
Four-year-old girl: Jose!
Latino dad: If you don’t stop callin’ me Jose I’ma stick my foot up yo’ ass, you hear? I ain’t no Jose, I’m Daddy!
–Atlantic Center
Father: Look at this — the bottle is sweating!
Six-year-old girl: It’s condensation, Dad.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: GL
Five-year-old boy: Daddy, why is Mommy crying?
Unemotional father: Son, your mother is crying because you are an asshole.
–1 train
Little boy, after dad explains difference between Barnard and Columbia: So, this side of the street is for girls, and that side is for boys?
Father: Exactly.
–116th & Broadway
Woman: So, what did you do for Easter?
Man: I took my kids to Chuck E. Cheese. My ex says I never do anything for those kids. I guess I showed her, and I can’t wait to tell her that next week in court.
–N train, Astoria
Whiny four-year-old boy: Daaad! I’m bored!
Dad: We came here to be bored.
–Central Park
12-year-old skater kid: Dad, is there such a thing as a friendly kiss?
Dad: I will neither confirm nor deny the veracity of that statement at this time.
12-year-old skater kid: What a nerd. Mom?
Mom: Depends where it was, honey.
12-year-old skater kid, into cell: Dude, where did she kiss you?
–Toys “R” Us
Mother to crying girl: You stop that or I’ll pop your balloon.
Father: Yeah, we’ll pop your balloon.
–1 train, 116th St
Overheard by: EK
Dad: What are you doing up there?
Six-year-old boy in front of large sign, waving frantically: I’m helping them advertise!
–Outside Redeye Grill
Overheard by: Target Audience
