Girl #1: So I saw you had some summer's eve in your bathroom earlier… Do you have a douche?
Girl #2: I saw that when I was in there too! It's not a douche. I looked at the box. It's just wipes.
Girl #1: Why would you need wipes?
Girl #3: You know when you eat a hamburger and have ketchup on your face, so you use a napkin to wipe it off? Well it's just like that, but it's for your vagina!

Appleton, Wisconsin

Chick: I haven’t even showered today.
Dude: If we’re going to have a quickie you need to take a shower first.
Chick: I could just douche first.
Dude: I don’t want my dick to smell like a tree. I want it to smell like a panther.

American University
Washington, DC

Teenage girl #1 to others in feminine products aisle: When do you douche?
Teenage girl #2: I don't know, when do you douche?
(group of teenage girls giggle hysterically)

Overheard by: personally, I prefer Thursdays

Man to friend, very seriously: Now, when you shower, do you stand up?

Overheard by: I prefer the fetal position

Guy on phone: What's wrong with taking a shower with the cat?

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Amy

Very large gross woman: So, I'm gonna need a serious douching when I get home.
Friend: It's Tuesday.

Overheard by: threw up in his mouth

Spaced-out kid: And I think it was some kind of message in that out-of-body experience. Like, it was my soul trying to tell me that after I finished puking, I should take a shower.
Teenage queer: Your dreams are fucked.

St. Andrew’s College