Teen girl #1: So then what happened?
Teen girl #2: So he’s bleeding all over the place, and his friends, his genius friends, say to him, ‘Just piss on yourself!’
–6th Ave, between 43rd & 44th St
Overheard by: Sam
Teen girl #1: So then what happened?
Teen girl #2: So he’s bleeding all over the place, and his friends, his genius friends, say to him, ‘Just piss on yourself!’
–6th Ave, between 43rd & 44th St
Overheard by: Sam
Old frat boy #1: So, I heard you have a pee fetish.
Old frat bay #2: I’m not gonna lie, I’ve peed on some girls in my day.
Old frat boy #1: Awesome.
–Bar, Spring St
Guy #1: I never peed on anybody. Never.
Guy #2, quietly: You peed on me in the shower.
–53rd & 9th
Hobo: Ahhh.
Girlfriend: Ewww, he peed on me!
Boyfriend: And you’re wearing sandals!
–Q train
Hoochie #1: I mean, I guess there are worse things than getting pissed on by Ray J….
Hoochie #2, after long, incredulous pause: Like what?!
–46th & 6th
Overheard by: Still disturbed, even though I know who Kim Kardashian is
Man leaving bathroom stall: I did it my way!
–420 5th Ave
Loud 12-year-old girl in stall, screaming to friends by the sinks: Is it bad that my pee is, like, foamy?
–Barnes & Noble, Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jenn
Young girl exiting porta-potty: I feel sick. I guess I shouldn’t have looked down.
–Prospect Park
Kid in stall: Dad, I’m peeing with one hand behind my back and my eyes closed!
–Toys ‘R’ Us
Overheard by: Sean Bogart
Woman running into bathroom: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I have to pee! [Enters stall] Phew! Come on… [Starts peeing, then sighs] Oh, thank you, dear Lord, for this glorious opportunity!
–Staten Island Ferry terminal
Overheard by: amila, NOT the Lord
Girl in stall, answering cell: Hello? What? Oh, yeah, sorry. I was totally masturbating when you called.
–Union Square
Teen boy #1, pointing to a bush: That’s where we peed last time.
Teen boy #2: Really?
–Central Park
Dude: So, what did you do?
Hung-over girl: I was really embarrassed at first and I tried to hide it. Then I was like, ‘Fuck it, yeah, I peed in your bed.’
–Restaurant, Chelsea
Lady: Okay, it’s been 80 minutes. That means one of us has to go pee.
–The Factory, Christopher St
Man: Shit! Why isn’t this moving faster? I need to take a piss. Of course I can’t just take a piss right here, ’cause I need to be all proper and shit.
–1 train
Cute 20-ish foreign guy to lady friend: … And then I got peed on. I got peed on — on my face! I wanna get peed on again.
–Bleecker, between MacDougal & 6th Ave
Overheard by: WTF Mate
Girl: Have you ever had to pee so bad that you get, like, high?
–9th & 7th
Loud chick on cell: I know, girl. That’s what I told her — he stays peeing on her and giving her mad STDs.
–B46 bus, Eastern Pkwy, Brooklyn
Hardhat: I gotta go pee. Somebody kick me in the balls!
–Chambers St station
Overheard by: Cat
Chick in stall: This is our first pee in New York City!
–Restroom, Virgin Megastore
Overheard by: it was mine too.
Saucy Latina: I don’t want to get a bikini wax if it won’t be sexual.
–Dallas BBQ, Times Square
Overheard by: Ladle
Exasperated Latina: She makes me sin on freakin’ Ash Wednesday!
–42nd St. 4 station
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Latina on cell: Hey, just calling to say hi… And tell you I’m never gonna see you again. Okay, bye!
–24th & 7th
Whiny Latina: I don’t want to sweat today — I can’t mess up my hair!
–New York Sports Club, Astoria
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Loud Latina: He woke up and pissed in a bottle. I was like, ‘The bathroom’s right there! Why you gotta piss in a 40 bottle?’
–3 train
Overheard by: EthanK
Sassy Latina on cell: Well, you can just call your parents and tell them you’re a pig and need more than one woman and that’s why we aren’t getting married!
–Near Steinway St, Queens
Overheard by: ADC
Latino thug: That’s what we do. That’s what we do when we hangin’ out with a girl: smoke a blunt, watch a movie, and then we fuck. That’s what we do. All my niggas, that’s what we do!
–Ft Greene
Overheard by: Andrew
