Fat guy: Sorry I’m late. Mr. Sphincter isn’t being very co-operative today.
Nova Cafe
Dunedin
New Zealand
Fat guy: Sorry I’m late. Mr. Sphincter isn’t being very co-operative today.
Nova Cafe
Dunedin
New Zealand
Creepy guy: Hey, Joey*.
Joey: Yeah?
Creepy guy: Have you ever put pee in a Super Soaker before?
Joey: Yeah.
Friend: What?
Girl: Ewww.
Friend: What does it feel like if you’re sprayed?
Creepy guy, shrugs: Kinda tingles.
Geography class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
Dude: Hey, let’s go find a shark and piss on it!
Navy Pier
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Sean
Cheerleader: So, I had this problem with peeing and I visited a doctor.
Friend: What did he say?
Cheerleader: You can’t imagine… He wanted to see the effect, so I had to pee in front of him while he’s watching me doing it!
Friend: Wow. I would freak out if that happened to me.
Classroom, Montana State University
Bozeman, Montana
Overheard by: Awesome Naveed
Girl in math class: I mean, seriously. I've been pissing all over these quizzes lately.
Friend: I know, right? Me too.
Michigan State University
20-year-old female emo: So basically, after hours of arguing outside his house, I was so fed up I told him to fucking suck my dick.
30-year-old female friend: Wow, what happened after that?
20-year-old female emo: I left. He was being such a fucking cunt. I wanted to piss in his mouth. He made me drive home drunk!
30-year-old female friend: He could at least offer to like, let you spend the night.
20-year-old female friend: Like, I don't even know, he's such a bitch boyfriend. I honestly hopes he gets the herpes.
30-year-old female friend: You have such a dirty mouth.
20-year-old female emo: Oh, is my lipstick smudged or something?
Starbucks
San Francisco, California
Man #1: Hey, are those bathrooms?
Man #2: No…that's art.
Discovery Green Park
Houston, Texas
Creepy mustached dude: Yep, so that's nine weeks of good urine testing. And about four weeks ago, I started using my own.
Dunkin' Donuts
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: All I wanted was a coffee
Girl in skirt: And so she was just sitting in the stall on her phone when I went in! She was having a normal volume conversation.
Girl in pants: Ewww. What did you do?
Girl in skirt: I mean, I peed. But reluctantly. It's not like I want to broadcast my bodily functions to everyone, you know? (pause) I mean I'm broadcasting them to you right now, but not over the phone.
Girl in pants: Right. Totally.
Rockville Pike, Maryland
