Little boy #1, on field trip: I have to pee!
Little boy #2: I have to pee too!
Teacher: We'll be near a bathroom soon.
Little girl: Boys don't need potties! Only girls need potties!
–Central Park
Little boy #1, on field trip: I have to pee!
Little boy #2: I have to pee too!
Teacher: We'll be near a bathroom soon.
Little girl: Boys don't need potties! Only girls need potties!
–Central Park
Mother: Do you have to pee?
Little boy: No.
Mother: Yes, you must!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Another mother
Student: I saw my professor in the park over the weekend.
Friend: So?
Student: It was three in the morning. And he was exposed… He was peeing.
Friend: Huh. I wonder if he has tenure.
–Coles Gym, Mercer Street
Overheard by: Studying for Finals at NYU
Female suit: I gotta piss like a fucking camel!
Male suit: Cross your damn legs.
–A Train
Overheard by: Nice to know…
Frat boy #1: She smelled like… You know that smell, when you eat asparagus, and then take a piss.
Frat boy #2: No, wait, I kinda like that smell.
–10th & 1st
Overheard by: Katie
Young girl: I want to sit over there! (points to occupied seat)
Pregnant mother: Girl, if I wasn't holding a baby in, I'll piss all over you.
–E Train
Overheard by: was sitting next to her…
Five-year-old girl pissing behind tree to mother trying to talk to elderly man with dog: Look mommy! Look! I'm making a pee-pee behind the tree.
Mother: Yes, sweetie, that's very nice. (returns to conversation with man)
Girl: Mommy! I'm still peeing! I'm still peeing!
Mother: Uh-huh. Well, pull your pants up when you're done.
Girl: Mommy, there's a squirrel! Hi, squirrel!
Old man: Careful! They have rabies and they'll eat you!
Girl, running towards mother with no pants: Aaaaaah!
–Riverside Park
College student: This is the best Barnes & Noble I've ever seen!
–Borders, Time Warner Center
Student: So, the author of the Tao Te Ching, Lao-low… Fuck it, we're calling him L-train.
–Eugene Lang College
Overheard by: Harker
Large woman with friends: Oh, girl, I got to tell you about this book I'm reading. It's off the hook! They're sending in this undercover agent, and I think it's his sister, but he's all getting ready to have sex with her!
–White Castle, 36th & 8th
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Woman on phone: I was in Union Square, so I stopped in Barnes & Noble. (pause) Nigga, I can read!
–Union Square
Little British boy: Oh my goodness, dad, look! They have books on dating. How to Date? is probably like, "Don't take her to McDonald's!"
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Laura
Tattooed artsy guy, putting hand on artsy Asian girl's shoulder: I read your book and really liked it… lotta pissing, huh?
–Mott & Prince
Chick #1: What were you doing and why were you walking so hard?
Chick #2: The elevator man kept going up and down and missed my stop, and I really had to pee, so I had to rush to this floor and use the bathroom. I’ve been holding it since Brooklyn, and I peed on myself a little. My pants are wet.
Chick #3: What?!
Chick #1 starts laughing hysterically.
Chick #2 stomps away, screaming: I hate you!
Chick #1: I’m not laughing at you! I’m not laughing at you!
–57th & Broadway
Overheard by: Bdizzle
Dude: Don't take your drink in the bathroom with you, that's gross.
Chick: Well, I'm not going to pee in it, I'm going to drink it while I pee!
–Blind Tiger Ale House, Bleecker Street
