Boyfriend, under his breath: I really need to find a dark corner.
Girlfriend, loudly: You could just pee in my mouth!
–10th & Broadway
Boyfriend, under his breath: I really need to find a dark corner.
Girlfriend, loudly: You could just pee in my mouth!
–10th & Broadway
Skinny brunette: … And Michelle screamed at me! I mean, like, seriously! What’s her problem?!
Hot guy, tapping Rolex: We have to go! I need to use the bathroom!
Skinny brunette: Oh, just piss in the bushes. It’s not like this is a good store or anything.
–Outside Bergdorf Goodman’s
Overheard by: Caley
Queer to another: It’s okay to pee on people. Either you do it or you don’t, and I’ve done it a lot.
–L train
Stumbling drunk girl to friends: All I was thinking was, ‘Oh, God, I hope he doesn’t pee on me!’
–Mott & Bayard St
Chick: I wish I could pee standing up. If I could pee standing up, I would pee out this window. Did you ever wonder where this door goes? It’s like the door to a secret land or something!
–Education building, NYU
Middle-aged guy: I used to pee on the floor just to get attention!
–Lincoln Center
Girl: Can you hold this while I… release my urine?
–The Met
Drunk woman in long fur coat: Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me! I gotta pee!
Tourist: Yeah, we’ve been waiting for a while. [Nods in direction of unattended mop soaking in bucket, and laughs] I mean, you could always use that thing, I guess.
Drunk woman: Okay, alright — just tell me if anyone is coming! [Hikes up coat and begins to pee in bucket.]Tourist: Jesus Christ! I’ve been here one day, and I’m responsible for encouraging public urination.
–Line for restroom, McDonald’s, Times Square
Overheard by: wish i’d thought of that
Dad: Pee! [Kid starts crying loudly.] Shut up and pee, goddammit!
–Bathroom, Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Jesse Y C
Girl: This better be it, or I will pee on your leg. I’m serious this time.
–Union Square South
College girl: Wait. If you didn’t pee in a jar, then where did you pee?
–Broadway
Drunk chick: I can not give you a no-pee guarantee.
–25th & 6th
Coworker to another: I think I have to stand in the bathroom with you. I just can’t seem to get the right angle.
–Office, Midtown
Southern tourist lady looking at bathroom line: Well, can we pee on the street?
–Hirschfeld Theater
Thugette: So, what you gonna do about him, then?
Thug: I swear to God, he even tries it again, I will pee on his face.
Thugette: You what?
Thug: No, seriously, I will. I will pee. On. His. Face.
–25th & 3rd
Overheard by: Katie
Hardhat: Sometimes I like pissing on the sawdust floor and seeing the dust come right back up in the air.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: TVontheFritz
Black hardhat to hot chick: Will you be my screensaver?
–19th & 6th
Overheard by: Philip
Hardhat: This whole street smells like panties!
–43rd & 8th
Big hardhat, after bumped by lady: Yo, I’m tryin’ to be Italian over here!
–64th & 1st
Overheard by: Rich Templeton
Hobo: Excuse me, is this the Six Train?
Young guy: Yes.
Hobo: Thank you [urinates on rail].
–6 train platform, Astor Pl
Scary woman in Che Guevara hat, trying to bite her own back: Asia is occupied!
Man in group of hot chicks: What the fuck?
Scary woman: Two drinks and you can piss in my pussy!
–Sammy’s Asian Gourmet, W 3rd & 6th
Overheard by: Alex
