Woman: Oh my God, is there a bathroom at the next stop? I just felt the rumblings of the Communist invasion, and I’m less than prepared.
Man: Fucking tourist.
–F train
Overheard by: Rachel Bloch
Woman: Oh my God, is there a bathroom at the next stop? I just felt the rumblings of the Communist invasion, and I’m less than prepared.
Man: Fucking tourist.
–F train
Overheard by: Rachel Bloch
Tourist #1: You know that song that Billy Strayhorn wrote, called “Take The A Train”? He wrote it about taking the A train up to Harlem, and then he gave it to Duke Ellington. The rest is history.
Tourist #2: Who’s Duke Ellington?
Tourist #1: Never mind!
–A train
Tourist girl #1: Oh my God, I feel like I’m in Sex and the City!
Tourist girl #2: Shut up, the natives can hear you.
–Central Park station
Overheard by: Spazza McChicken
Tourist lady: Does this train go to 9/11?
Man: what?
Tourist lady: I want to see 9/11.
Man: You mean World Trade Center?
Tourist lady: No, I mean 9/11.
Other tourist lady: Oh no, you want the E train. I had this problem yesterday. New Yorkers are so unhelpful
Stunned silence all the way to 42nd St.
–Downtown C train, 50th St.
Promoter guy: Do you guys want to see a comedy show?
Tourist mom: Oh, sorry, we have an opera tonight.
Promoter guy: Oh! Fidelio?
Tourist mom: No, Phantom.
–45th & Broadway
Overheard by: Andy Hobin
Tourist #1: Where do you keep your wallet?
Tourist #2: I don’t, I keep my money in my hair.
Tourist #3: I love how you two are talking about where you keep your money.
–Times Square
Chick #1: What do you want to do now?
Chick #2: I don’t know.
Chick #1: Well, why don’t we go to Webster Hall?
Chick #2: Where?
Chick #1: Webster Hall… I was talking to this girl on MySpace and she said that Webster Hall is this upscale lounge.
Chick #2: I could do with an upscale lounge.
Chick #1: I agree, I’m sick of these loud-ass clubs and shit.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Shen
Tourist #1: I recognize that accent! Where are you from?
Tourist #2: Tennessee.
Tourist #1: Really? I’m from North Carolina!
Tourist #2: Where’s that?
Tourist #1: Right next to Tennessee.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Victoria Spring
Hobo: …and the cookies from the sky, you know, man? All them cookies from the sky, like fuckin’ meteors!
Tourist girl: Look, Mom, it’s a Beat poet!
–Times Square
Tourist chick: Do these trains go under water?
Guy: We’re under water right now.
Tourist chick: Are there sharks?
–2 train
Overheard by: Elaine Chernov
