Doctor: You really think I look like Rick Springfield?
Hobo: Oh, yeah. Could be his twin.
Doctor, singing: Jesse’s girl… I wanna be… [Hobo joins him singing and pees on the bench.]
–Union Square
Overheard by: tantorigor
Doctor: You really think I look like Rick Springfield?
Hobo: Oh, yeah. Could be his twin.
Doctor, singing: Jesse’s girl… I wanna be… [Hobo joins him singing and pees on the bench.]
–Union Square
Overheard by: tantorigor
Hobo: Are the raindrops only falling on me? Does anyone feel this?
Girl: I think it’s everyone…
Hobo: Now that I got you to talk to me, want to go out tonight? [Girl ignores him.] What?! I had a beautiful girl last night — I can’t get a normal one today?!
–Union Square
College guy #1: So I was hooking up with her–
College guy #2: –Dude, she’s kinda…
College guy #1: She’s not that fat! She’s average! I mean, she doesn’t outweigh me or anything.
College guy #2: Dude, if you have to convince yourself that she’s not fat, she’s too fat.
–American Eagle, Union Square
Frat boys in truck: Wooo! Where the ladies at?!
Queer couple, walking arm-in-arm: Right heeere!
–East Village
Overheard by: afro*T*siac
Teen boy: Shit, man, I can’t believe I got an F on that vocabulary test. I didn’t study, but I’m utterly devastated. See? I know the vocab!
Girlfriend: I like the word ‘utterly’ — it reminds me of cows.
Teen boy: It reminds me of boobs.
–Union Square
Overheard by: CeLia
Guy #1: Man, I don’t know what to do! I can’t get rid of my crazy ex! We’ve been broken up for almost a year now and I told her, ‘I don’t want to see you or speak to you any more,’ and she said, ‘I’m going to make your life miserable.’ Then she had the audacity to send my current girlfriend a message on Facebook saying, ‘We need to talk’ and asked my current girlfriend to call her. Then, a few weeks later, she shows up at my office. And just this week she send me a text saying, ‘I know we’re not speaking, but do you want to come out to dinner with me and meet my mom?’ What do I do?!
Guy #2: Oh my god, restraining order?!
Guy #1: And the sad part is that she has a dating column!
Guy #2: You mean she is giving other people dating advice?
Guy #1: Yup.
–Union Square
Cashier: Do you want a bag?
Elderly Village-type customer: Do I want a bag? What, am I gonna carry it out in my mouth?
–Strand Bookstore, 12th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jake Elwell
Woman #1: Yeah, we went to the hot springs there. They were so nice.
Woman #2: They had those in Hostel 2 and the girl died.
Woman #1: Oh… Well, that didn’t happen to us.
–Union Square
Lady: What are you all waiting for?
26th guy in line for iPhone: The new Harry Potter book.
27th guy in line: Shrek 4.
28th guy in line: Free crack. [Lady walks away.]
–AT&T store, Union Square
Street vendor #1: Do you have a picture of Jesus Christ in your home?
Street vendor #2: What?
Street vendor #1: Jesus — do you have his picture?
Street vendor #2: Who?
Street vendor #1: Jesus!
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Lotte
