Tall blonde: I just don’t think I’d be comfortable on a nude beach.
Boyfriend: I would be.
–Union Square West
Overheard by: Michelle
Tall blonde: I just don’t think I’d be comfortable on a nude beach.
Boyfriend: I would be.
–Union Square West
Overheard by: Michelle
Crazy guy: Vote for me for king of the world!
Passerby: What on your resume qualifies you to be king of the world?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Morgan
Woman to Eric*: Are you a sexual adventurer?
Man: Eric is the Amerigo Vespucci of ass play.
–Against the Grain, East Village
Overheard by: Adam
Young girl to brother: Hey, you better get home or I’m gonna tell Mom that you stole that money from her purse.
Little boy: You do that, bitch, and I’m gonna tell Durell you got your period when you were nine.
Young girl: Mothafuckah, that was, like, last year!
–Ave A
Overheard by: Padraic. Your Prince
Guy: Oh, man, my wrist hurts! I think I got carpal tunnel.
Friend: How?
Guy: I was fingering that bitch all night.
Friend: Oh.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Lucy and Emily
Guy: So, if I told you that your eyes reminded me of the color of shit, would you be offended?
Over-sensitive girl: Yeah…
Guy: But your eyes are blue!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Caesar22
Dude #1: Last night Sheryl told me my balls smelled like Ramen.
Dude #2: Oh, really? Like the noodles?
Dude #1: Yeah… She gave me head anyway, though.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Rez
JAP #1: I can’t believe I’m doing this for her. I mean, she doesn’t even like me.
JAP #2: She doesn’t like you? Why?
JAP #1: Because I’m a slut.
JAP #2: Oh, yeah…
–East Village
Overheard by: Miss J
Bimbette #1: Don’t you remember the train station in Italy?
Bimbette #2: I was drunk for basically the entire trip.
Bimbette #1: Oh, yeah.
–12th & 2nd
Tourist: Excuse me, ma’am? Can you tell me how to get to the Golden Gate Bridge?
Local, after long pause: Up two blocks, make a left. You can’t miss it.
–Union Square
