Girl #1: So, is he hot?
Girl #2: Well, kind of. He’s albino.
Girl #1: Does he have the fucking scary eyes?
Girl #2: He’s got the fucking scary eyes.
–14th St
Overheard by: Molly Fitzpatrick
Girl #1: So, is he hot?
Girl #2: Well, kind of. He’s albino.
Girl #1: Does he have the fucking scary eyes?
Girl #2: He’s got the fucking scary eyes.
–14th St
Overheard by: Molly Fitzpatrick
Guy: You know — it’s Dow Jones and NASDAQ.
Girl: Who are they? Those guys that died?
–14th & Park Ave South
Chirpy girl #1: Oh my god! They have peonies! How cute! I love peonies!
Chirpy girl #2: Me, too! Oh, wow, how cute!
French woman #1: Ooh-la-la… La pivoine! Pour le garçon?
French woman #2: Oui, oui.
Chirpy girl #1: Oh my god! It’s an Italian! I love Italians!
Chirpy girl #2: Oh, wow! Me, too! Italians are so cute!
–Farmer’s Market, Union Square
Girl: … So if it’s green we’ll know.
Guy: I once shit green.
Girl: Me, too.
–E 7th St
30-ish woman #1: Did you hear what happened to Peter?
30-ish woman #2: Yeah, and I can’t believe his father did it!
30-ish woman #1: Yeah, that’s much worse than if it was, like, their neighbor!
–15th & Union Square West
Overheard by: Can’t believe he did it either!
Hipster girl #1: I’ve never seen a fat midget.
Hipster girl #2: Oh, god, who would ever want to see a fat midget?! I’m sure they don’t exist.
–1st Ave, between 12th & 13th St
Overheard by: rpk
Asian queer, looking over his shoulder: I think I jerked him off.
Italian queer: Who?
Asian queer: That guy in the green shirt… It’s pretty bad when you can’t keep track of all the people you’ve jerked off.
–Union Square
Hardhat: Sir, what are you looking for?
Guy: There’s a store on this street that sells toupées for old ladies’ cunts.
–E 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Cassie
Jewish guy, to young white couple: Excuse me, are you Jewish?
Hobo: Man, do they fucking look Jewish?! Leave them the fuck alone, and get the hell outta here!
–9th & 2nd
Overheard by: 54
Headline by: Michael DeLong
Runners-Up:
· “Go Circumcise Somebody Else!” – John
· “Jesus Returns to Do Some Street Work” – Sim Etrias
· “Let My People Go, Bitch!” – jenna
· “Moses Had Such A Temper” – Dion
· “Sorry, Didn’t Notice He Was Short One Foreskin.” – Sheathed
· “Where Can I Get a Hobo Bodyguard?” – Ashley
Drunk guy: So, like, have you ever had to knock someone out?
Large bouncer: Not yet.
–10th & Ave B
Overheard by: Drewster
