Guy: Oh, man, my wrist hurts! I think I got carpal tunnel.
Friend: How?
Guy: I was fingering that bitch all night.
Friend: Oh.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Lucy and Emily
Guy: Oh, man, my wrist hurts! I think I got carpal tunnel.
Friend: How?
Guy: I was fingering that bitch all night.
Friend: Oh.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Lucy and Emily
Guy: So, if I told you that your eyes reminded me of the color of shit, would you be offended?
Over-sensitive girl: Yeah…
Guy: But your eyes are blue!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Caesar22
Dude #1: Last night Sheryl told me my balls smelled like Ramen.
Dude #2: Oh, really? Like the noodles?
Dude #1: Yeah… She gave me head anyway, though.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Rez
JAP #1: I can’t believe I’m doing this for her. I mean, she doesn’t even like me.
JAP #2: She doesn’t like you? Why?
JAP #1: Because I’m a slut.
JAP #2: Oh, yeah…
–East Village
Overheard by: Miss J
Bimbette #1: Don’t you remember the train station in Italy?
Bimbette #2: I was drunk for basically the entire trip.
Bimbette #1: Oh, yeah.
–12th & 2nd
Tourist: Excuse me, ma’am? Can you tell me how to get to the Golden Gate Bridge?
Local, after long pause: Up two blocks, make a left. You can’t miss it.
–Union Square
Old lady #1: Why are you dating a 30-year-old guy?
Old lady #2: … Well, he just got a haircut.
–Union Square East, 15th St
Overheard by: Steve Scalici
Frat boy: Yo, those chicks are hot. Let’s cat-call them. How do you cat-call?
Friend: Ummm…
Frat boy, yelling: Cat-call! This is an official cat-call!
–E Houston & Mulberry
Overheard by: barapa
Middle-aged lady: Look at that girl! Drunk and it’s not even four PM!
Friend: She’s not drunk, it’s just her shoes!
Middle-aged lady: But… Who would wear high heels and be sober?
–1st & 1st
Overheard by: eliza… the one with the heels
Headline by: Lalaith
Runners-Up:
· “British Comedians in Drag?” – Barry P.
· “I’ll Take Old Trades for $100, Alex” – Martin de Bruin
· “She’s Also Not a She. Not Originally Anyway.” – eric bostrom
· “The Same People Who Wear Crocs While Not Stoned Out Of Their Minds” – Cecilia
· “With Ann Coulter, You Can Never Be Sure.” – Jon T
Ice cream vendor: Why don’t you go for it? You are eating for two!
Woman: I am not eating for two.
–Union Square Farmer’s Market
Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl
